Welcome Home

Nearly six months ago, I received a phone call regarding our hometown wanting to give us a house. It seemed too good to be true, and the pessimistic side of me kept waiting for things to fall through. I didn’t want to let myself get too excited, but it was difficult not to. Due to being in Maryland, we had to do many things long distance including picking out the house. My dad went with Bob from the city of Palm Bay and checked out the houses and helped us decide which one would best suit our needs. Let me tell you, the house we picked is not the house we received. Yes, it’s at the same physical location and has the same basic structure, but the community came together and repainted, remodeled to make it wheelchair accessible and made it look totally different both inside and outside. When we were on convalescent leave in April, we were able to visit the house to see the “before”. Bob told us not to look at it for how it was at that time, but to look at it and see the potential. Over the course of the next four months, I watched the transformation through pictures other people posted online or sent to me. The most amazing part about it was that the majority of the work was done by volunteers and by businesses that volunteered their time, resources, and labor. It’s humbling to think about how many hours were put in by mostly strangers who heard about Justin and his injuries and wanted to help us.

the "before"

the "after"

On Wednesday (two days ago), we unpacked the Penske truck and the POD unit with the help of about a dozen volunteers. I thought that the platoon from Ft. Stewart made good time packing the POD in a couple hours, but the unpacking went even faster – about 35 minutes from unlocking the POD to it being empty. My parents and I spent most of Wednesday and Thursday at the house unpacking boxes, organizing, and making the house look and feel like a home. My dad and I didn’t leave the house until 11 last night finishing up the last little things to prepare for the ribbon cutting/open house that happened today.

Today was the big day. We started our morning with a limo in the driveway to take us to the title place where we signed for the house. When we arrived at the title place, they literally rolled out a red carpet for us. While we were there, we did an on camera interview for the city of Palm Bay.

When it was time to leave, the police blocked off the streets between the title agency and our house (about 7 miles). We were escorted by police, a large group of motorcycles (my mom estimated around 100 and many of the riders were veterans), and quite a few people in cars. People along the route were holding signs and waving to us. When we arrived on our street, there were cars, people, and news crews lining both sides of the street and a fire truck with a flag waving from the ladder. It was awesome to see our hometown come together in support for us. There were between 200-300 people at our house this morning. I’ve always loved my hometown, but this was above and beyond anything I ever imagined.

They started off the ribbon cutting ceremony in prayer asking God to bless our house and our family. I really appreciated that since our faith in God has been so important to us especially over the past year. Then they thanked the various elected officials and volunteers. A few people gave speeches. The brought the flag down from the fire truck and posted it in the flag holder at the front of the house. Justin’s not big on speaking, so he handed the microphone off to me to thank everyone. I’m better at putting my words into writing than public speaking, and it was hard to put into words how much we appreciate the gift of support that we received from so many. Then it was time to cut the ribbon. Dave Isnardi pulled out the biggest pair of scissors that I had ever seen and Corey and the Palm Bay mayor, William Capote, cut the ribbon and Dave handed us the key. Then it was a bit of a meet and greet/open house/BBQ lunch. The news crews from the 4 major networks, local cable news station, and local newspaper interviewed Justin and me. It was quite a unique experience to be in front of so many cameras and microphones at once. I think I prefer the computer screen. lol We got to chat with family and friends who came and met more people than I’ll ever remember names for…though I will never forget their kindness. Some of our friends from Sharptown, MD (Heroes Haven) were able to be there to celebrate with us. It was an amazing day. We are so blessed – not just by the gift of a house, but by the love shown to us which is so much more important at the end of the day. I’m so thankful for the city of Palm Bay doing this not just for us, but for 20-35 families. The project started with us and keeps growing. It’s amazing!

If you're in the Palm Bay, FL area and would like to get involved with this project for future homes, here are some links:

Space Coast Paratroopers Association

Homes for Warriors

Here are some links to the local news stations/paper regarding our house:

http://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/local/2014/08/01/wounded-veteran-given-new-home-in-palm-bay/13466687/

our motorcycle escort

http://ltnews.brevardtimes.com/2014/08/home-for-warriors-hero-inauguration.html

http://www.myfoxorlando.com/story/26176399/palm-bay-hero-returns-home-receives-keys-to-new-house

http://www.wftv.com/news/news/local/wounded-army-sergeant-receives-mortgage-free-home-/ngsZ5/
http://www.clickorlando.com/news/wounded-vet-given-new-home-in-brevard/27267238

our new bedroom

master bathroom

Justin's new "man cave"

the wonderful businesses who partnered with the city to make our house a home

Can Do

Today I drove Justin and his friend Robert out to the track so that they could both do a one mile ruck march. The two of them were in the same company prior to the deployment. The got moved to different companies to deploy, were both injured by 107 mm rockets, and both ended up at Walter Reed within a month of each other. Justin lost both legs below the knee, and Robert got a traumatic brain injury. Both men have come a long way on their roads to recovery over the past year. Justin has done several ruck marches over the past month and every time, his time gets better and better.

Their unit’s motto is “Can Do”. Not to sound cheesy, but it is fitting that Justin is with that unit because he definitely has had a “can do” attitude, especially over the past year. He’s been through so much and has faced so many challenges since he was injured, but I can’t remember a single time where he said that he couldn’t do something. Occasionally, it’ll be a “can’t yet”, but that “yet” means that he’s not ruling it out in the future. Some things, like running, will just take time and effort for him to be able to work up to being able to do. Giving up isn’t in his vocabulary, and it hasn’t been for as long as I’ve known him.

The “Can Do” phrase can be found as part of Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I doubt a Scripture verse was the motivation in choosing this motto, but the underlying principle is the same to a point. The motto is just that you can do, but the Bible says that you can do through Christ. There are times when I feel overwhelmed and I cry out to God that I can’t do it on my own. The great thing is that even when I can’t, He can, and I can through Him. Sometimes God physically or mentally strengthens me, and other times he brings someone into the picture to help me in situations depending on what my need is at the time. I don’t have to go through trials on my own. Isaiah 40:29-31 says, “He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” There are times when I feel weak, and I lean more heavily on God’s strength because my own has failed. The past year has been a rough road, but it hasn’t been hopeless. God has given Justin the physical, mental, and emotional strength to adjust to life with no legs. I haven’t had to deal with as much physical, but it’s definitely been a mental and emotional struggle for me, but God has been faithful and has kept me going when I was falling apart. Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Jesus saved me when I was a young child living in Florida, He was with me when I was scared and feeling alone in Germany, He comforted me in Georgia when I heard Justin tell me that he had been injured, and He hasn’t left me while we’ve been in Maryland. He has been with Justin in Iraq and Afghanistan, and many other places where he’s lived and trained. I’m so thankful he was with Justin on the mountain on June 9^th, and that He guided the hands of the medics, doctors, and nurses who kept Justin alive and helped him get to where he is today. I don’t know what direction life will take us when we leave Walter Reed (or when that will be), but God knows and He will be with us wherever and whenever that happens. He will give us strength so that we can do whatever comes next.

Saying Good-bye

Right now I’m sitting in a house full of boxes, and it’s feeling bittersweet. I’m excited to move into our house in Florida (though I’ll be more excited when we’re done at Walter Reed and can actually live there full time), but I’m sad to leave the life we built here in Georgia. We made some good memories in this house, in this town. I had to say good-bye to some dear people at our church not knowing when I would see them again now that we won’t have a house here. I played in the orchestra one last time before the move. Tonight will be the last night I sleep in my bed in this house. If I sleep here any more nights, it will be on an air mattress. Even though we haven’t really lived here over the past year, I felt like this chapter of our lives was still open because we still had roots here. It took me about 10 months to change over our Tricare to the north region partially because doing so would be giving up part of our ties to Ft. Stewart…at least that’s how it felt in my mind. As a military family, moving is something that happens often, and we learn to adjust. The orders come down and we learn what we can about the new duty station. We hold garage sales to trim down the household goods weight limit. The military movers come and pack up all of our belongings and send them on their way to the new station. For overseas moves, we clean the car and make sure everything is working properly before bringing it to the shipping place. We say our tearful good-byes to the people who have become like family to us, then we brace ourselves for being the new family in town. At least that’s what normally happens to some extent. With a situation like ours, everything is different.

Life was going along as normal…well, as normal as being on this side of a deployment can be anyway. My pantry and fridge were stocked with food. Corey was playing his first season of t-ball. Corey and I had just finished out the Awana year and were looking forward to doing some fun summer things. I had plans to hit the beach and spend time with family down in Florida. Then Justin called and told me he was injured. Suddenly and without any advance notice, spending time at the beach turned into spending time in a hospital. I had no chance to clean out my fridge and to give away food that might expire, and honestly, I didn’t realize that I should. I thought I would just be gone a short time while they stabilized Justin and then we would all come home and he would do rehab at Ft. Stewart. Nobody ever discussed in pre-deployment meetings what happens for serious injury. I was clueless. As Justin’s Granny and I were packing up boxes and throwing things away, it was depressing to see how much food had gone to waste (especially depressing was having to throw away chocolate) during my absence over the past year. Due to circumstances, we haven’t had a chance to do anything with our stuff until now, so we’ve been renting a house and paying utilities for a house that sat unoccupied. I managed a house long-distance because we didn’t like the other options. I’m thankful that our landlord/realtor were willing to work with us.

Nothing about our move to Maryland was normal, and really, very little about our life now could be considered “normal”. We live in an apartment building located on a hospital complex where someone in every apartment has something wrong with them. I’ve seen more people with missing limbs over the past year than I had seen in the rest of my life combined. I’ve seen men and women in horrible pain who struggle to regain the ability to do even the simplest of tasks. I had to explain to my (then) 3 year old son that I was crying because his daddy was hurt very bad. I could go on and on about the painful and difficult parts of what I’ve seen and experienced, but that would only tell a small part of the story.

I’ve seen miracles. My husband is one of them. I’ve heard the story from his medic on what happened on that mountain in Afghanistan on June 9^th. Justin barely made it. The fact that he’s alive is a miracle. I’ve seen hope. When Justin was still inpatient, they took us down to the area with the amputees do their physical and occupational therapy. I looked around and saw them walking on new legs and knew that one day, Justin would be one of them. That gave me hope that even though we were in a dark place, there was a light ahead. I see guys in much worse shape than Justin well enough to leave Walter Reed, and I see hope that we’ll leave one day. I see people who give of themselves to try to make our lives easier at Walter Reed…organizations that truly help our injured men and women. I’ve seen communities of strangers welcome us with open arms. Some of these people have become like our extended family and have given us a priceless gift of a place to go to get away from the craziness of Walter Reed. I’ve seen our own community pull together in support of our family and through the idea that started with helping us, it has expanded and will be helping others as well. I’ve seen various members of my family and Justin’s family step up and help us when we needed it the most. I’ve been encouraged by friends and strangers in more ways than I could possibly list. I’ve seen which friends truly care about me and my family, and let me tell you, I have some awesome friends and I’ve made many new ones over the past year. I am blessed beyond what I deserve, and I thank God for all the ways He worked to help us make it through the last 13 months since Justin was injured. If I could go back in time, I would tell Justin to find a different spot on the mountain to check out, but since I can’t, I’ll just have to work alongside with Justin to find our “new normal”…and that “new normal” is getting closer every day.

Military families say a lot of good-byes, but we know that the Army community is small and you never know when your paths will cross down the road. The Christian life is similar. I’ve had to say good-bye to many friends over the years not knowing if I’d ever see them again here on earth. I’ve had to say good-bye to family members and friends who have passed away, but it isn’t really a good-bye. It’s more of a “see you later”. To my dear friends who life has set us on different paths, I hope our paths cross someday, and if they don’t, I look forward to a reunion in Heaven. And to my friends who don’t know if they’re going to Heaven, I would love to show you in the Bible about how to get there.

Coping during difficult time

With all the scrutiny on the Veteran’s Administration, the topic of veterans committing suicide has been brought more into the public eye. The statistics are showing that approximately 22 veterans commit suicide every day, and that number is just the ones that succeed, not including all the ones that attempt suicide but live. If you do the math, that’s over 8,000 every year. Just one is a tragedy, but over 8,000 a year tells me that there’s a gap somewhere that needs to be filled to help these men and women deal with what they experienced during deployments. I believe that part of the problems lies with the stigma attached to PTSD largely to blame on the media jumping to conclusions when there’s a veteran related crime and by veterans without PTSD claiming it to make an excuse for why they did something wrong. Because of this, many who are struggling fail to speak up, and they try to deal with things on their own or bottle it up inside until they can’t hold it in any longer. Many fear what the PTSD label will do to their career, both in the military and in post-military careers, and others are concerned that being labeled will cause the government to come in and take away their guns because they now are considered to have a “mental problem”. Being a military spouse, I know a lot of people that have been deployed, and many of them own guns. And wouldn’t you know, not a single one of these gun-owning veterans that I know has ever gone on a shooting spree. They use them for hunting and target practice. Some have them for home defense, but honestly, I don’t know of any who have actually had to use them to defend their homes. They are just your ordinary legal, responsible gun owners…that happen to have a bit more training in using guns than your average citizen. Yes, some of them may have PTSD or experience some of the symptoms related to PTSD, but that doesn’t mean that they are ticking time bombs. They are normal people who have experienced abnormal things and sometimes need a little extra help working through what they’ve experienced. And do you know what else they need? They need our prayers rather than our judgment. Many have inner wounds that only God can heal. They hide their pain because our country and media is so quick to judge and jump to conclusions about a veteran while it defends and makes excuses for criminals.

I just read an article about the effects deployments and loss due to deployments have on families. (http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2014/03/us/uncounted-suicides/) It told the stories of a military spouse, parents and siblings soldiers killed in action, and the child of a military parent. For every one of those 22 suicides that happen every day, they leave someone behind. Parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, battle buddies, and extended family. And for every one of those 22 that are lost, there are many more that are alive that are struggling and their families are struggling along with them. For some, it’s PTSD, for others it may be a traumatic brain injury (TBI) or other physical issues, and other it just may be the stress (non-traumatic) of military life. Here at Walter Reed, many of the wounded are dealing with issues on multiple fronts. I would guess that the majority of combat-related amputations are due to an explosion of some sort. Close proximity to an explosion hits the body with a concussive force. Many times this will result in a TBI from the explosion itself or from the force causing the person’s head to get knocked against something like a wall or the ground. Symptoms of a TBI are often difficult to fix. A lot of the care is just trial and error and treating the symptoms because unlike most of Justin’s injuries, you can’t just see a problem and do surgery to fix it. The human brain is so complex and can affect the entire body. Throw PTSD in the mix for some of them, and you’ve got a rough road to recovery. This road is often stressful, and all the trial and error without seeing a lot of results can be frustrating.

Military life takes a toll on the service member (though most that I know would still have joined knowing what they know now), but it also take a toll on the family. Yes, most of us knew what we were getting into when we got married, but knowing doesn’t make it less stressful. I knew that having a kid wouldn’t be a walk in the park, but that doesn’t make it any easier when I’m tired and my son is misbehaving…yet, knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my son. And knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t change a thing regarding marrying Justin. That being said, knowledge doesn’t make things easier. Deployments, trainings, 24 hour duties, moving every couple years, reintegration adjustments, and many other things can be quite stressful. Often I put on my brave face for the world, and even for my family, but inside I feel a bit lost. I spend so much time and energy taking care of my son and husband (even more so over the past year) that by the end of the day, I’m spent and haven’t take much time to take care of myself. I feel lucky if I get to take a shower with no interruptions. In the article, the author quotes a therapist one Army wife (not me though we share the same first name) was seeing to work through some personal issues: “He made an analogy to the safety instructions given before an airline flight: ‘You put your mask on yourself before you put it on your kids. Elizabeth had been putting the oxygen on her kids and husband for years, and never on herself.’” I know that feeling as do many military spouses (especially, but not limited to caregivers). I’m not the type to ask for help unless I really, really, really need it. Typically I’m the one offering to help other people because I feel bad asking for help when I see other people who have a greater need than I do. I may be struggling with something, but if I see a friend in need, I put on my brave face and do what I can to help them. Helping others takes my mind off my own problems, but there comes a time when I need to sort them out and work through them. I’m thankful that even when I feel alone, I’m never truly alone. God has never left my side, and He’s given me a great family that have always been there for me even if it’s long distance. When we first moved to Germany, we had been married less than 6 months, I was pregnant, and I didn’t know anyone. I felt very alone, and then Justin got sent to a month long training. I went through a lot of personal struggles, and I often begged God to send me a friend so that I wouldn’t feel so alone. Looking back, I can see how God used my struggles to make me into the kind of friend that the friends he brought into my life would need. Military life may be hard on friendships because of having to move, but the friendships you form are very special and unique because of the things you go through together.

I can’t speak for the parents or siblings of service members, but I know what it’s like to be a military spouse, and I know how it affects our son. I’m not suicidal, and I’m not on the verge of a breakdown, but it takes a toll. Sometimes I feel like I’ve given so much that I have nothing left to give…and then I’m asked to give some more. I ask for your prayers – not just for me, but for all of our military and their families, especially those deployed and those who have returned home from a deployment (or multiple deployments) and are struggling physically, mentally, and emotionally with their deployment(s). If you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, don’t give up – look up. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” God will always be with you. Even if you feel like everyone else has abandoned you, turn to God. I Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” The God who created the universe cares for you. He loves you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” No matter how dark life may seem, we can trust that God has a plan and will brought us through the dark times. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions until you get to the point where you’re about to explode. Sometimes talking to someone can really help. Whether it’s a pastor or chaplain or a counselor, reach out. There are phone numbers you can call that are more anonymous than a face-to-face conversation. For me, I talk to my husband (though if I’m complaining about my feet hurting, he isn’t too sympathetic), my mom, a few of my closest friends, and most importantly, I talk to God. Sometimes I write to sort out my thoughts. Whatever you do, whoever you talk to, please don’t let yourself become overwhelmed. If you need help, seek help. Don’t just be alive – live and enjoy living. Psalm 30:5b says, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Life may be hard right now, but don’t give up. Joy will come if you let it. Happiness is an emotion that is based on circumstances, but joy is a choice and it comes from God. You can choose to be joyful even in the midst of difficult circumstances. Find that joy, hold onto it, and never let it go. Don’t let the hard times rob you of that joy.

Support our Troops

When you’re driving in your car, you might see a bumper sticker that reads “Support our Troops” or a similar message or maybe you see such a message on a shared Facebook picture. You might see it on a t-shirt or on a television commercial. There are so many ways to state that you support our military service members, but when it comes down to it, how are you actually supporting them? Is stating on social media, the bumper of your car, or your clothing that you support them enough? Here are some suggestions of ways to put actions to your words of support…this is not an all-inclusive list, but just some things I thought of.

·         Pray for them and their families. Pray for their safety while deployed and in training. Pray for their families who have to take up the slack while the service member is away. Pray for them as military life can be stressful. Pray for our country’s leaders as they made decisions that directly affect the safety and wellbeing of our troops and their families. Pray for our wounded troops and their families and their lives will never be the same. Pray for the families of those who died in service to our country. Pray for those who came back with invisible wounds and challenges.

·         Write letters. I know that with email and social media, it’s easy to just type out a message and hit send, but there’s something about a handwritten letter that is special. When I was in college, I usually had an empty mailbox, but I knew that pretty much every week, I could count on one letter from my Grandma. The letters were often about what she and Poppa did that week or where they went out to eat, but the fact that she took the time to write me and mail me a letter was so special. Now, I’m not comparing college life to a deployment except that I was young like so many of our soldiers and I was away from home, family, and friends that I grew up with. That’s where the comparison ends. Deployed soldiers go through so much, and it’s nice for them to receive mail from people who care about them.

·         Care packages. No matter who you are, most of us love to receive a package full of goodies and things we need, but when you can’t just go to the store and buy that stuff yourself and you can’t bake them yourself, they’re even more important. During Justin’s deployments, I learned how to stuff as much as I could into a flat rate box. I tried to send plenty for him and enough for him to share. Sadly, some of these men and women don’t have anyone willing/able to send them even the most basic necessities. Justin’s guys always knew that if they needed hygiene items or snacks, he almost always had extras…now not all snacks were things he was willing to share (like the coveted bacon jerky), but for the most part, he was quite generous with his goodies (like fudge).

·         Be an informed voter. Now, I understand that not all informed voters will vote the same way that I do. We hold different values. I get that, but one of the scariest things for the future of our nation is the people who don’t care about where the politician stands on policy and votes solely based on who promises them the most freebies. In the words of JFK, “ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country.” Too many people are asking for a handout with no regard for what they can personally do to make our country better. I get that some people have legitimate needs and need assistance to keep food on the table, but welfare and such should not be a career opportunity. Our service men and women put their lives on the line. They are unable to put down roots, and they live a somewhat nomadic life for years, and sometimes decades. They don’t do it for the pay because let’s face it, the pay isn’t that great if you were to calculate an hourly rate. When the government can’t get along, it’s their pay and care that is threatened. I could go on and on with this one, but I’ll stop here. Vote for what’s best for our country as a whole, not for what’s best for your personal wallet.

·         Keep politicians accountable. What’s been happening at the VA hospitals is unacceptable. I refuse to point fingers at which side is responsible for the mess, but I will point fingers at every elected official for being responsible to fix it. Our veterans deserve better. Whether they chose to serve or were drafted, they still served our country and did their part to keep us safe. They deserve for our country to take care of them when they return.

·         Support organizations that support active duty, wounded, and all veterans. Be informed on which groups actually help veterans. Some groups have high overhead costs, and choosing a different group might stretch your dollar further. I understand that money can be tight these days, but you can support with your time and talents as well. Find a local organization that fits your abilities and ask how you can help. Non-profit organizations can’t survive without volunteers.

·         Don’t forget them. Just because they aren’t currently deployed or the wounded are out of the hospital doesn’t mean everything is good. So many may be home from war, but they often bring the war home with them. I’m not just talking about PTSD. War changes a person, and each deployment is different and will change them in different ways. Sometimes it can be a struggle to integrate those changes into “normal” life. For the wounded, they struggle to find a “new normal”. Life will never be as it was. Just because they’re better enough to be out of the hospital doesn’t mean that their journey to recovery is over. These things take a toll on families as well. I may not have ever deployed, but I’ve been through three deployments with Justin. I’ve changed with each one. Sometimes it’s a struggle upon return from a deployment to mesh two changed people and find how everything fits back together under one roof. This past year has been a struggle to adapt to being around each other more than…well, more than we’ve ever been around each other. And that’s on top of the other things we’ve had to adapt to like smaller living space, medical issues, and a whole long list.

That’s just a handful of ways you can show your support. There are many more, but I’d like to switch directions and tell you about some people who are actively supporting our family and others. This past weekend, there were two things going on that directly helped our family. They took place in two different states that are hundreds of miles away from each other. One was in our hometown of Palm Bay, FL and the other was in Sharptown, MD.

A few months back, a story about Justin ran on the front page of the Sunday edition of our hometown newspaper. The reporter and cameraman had come up to Walter Reed to interview Justin in person and see what our life is like up here. Shortly after the article ran, we were contacted and informed that our hometown would like to give us a house. The city had acquired some foreclosures and wanted to renovate one and give it to us. They would also make it wheelchair accessible! The project grew from there and now the city plans to expand this program to about 20 families at this point. The city is working alongside a local veteran’s non-profit and many businesses and individuals are getting involved. The list of local sponsors keeps growing. This past Saturday, there were 25-30 volunteers out at the house working on putting a primer coat of paint on the interior walls, yard work, and much more. My parents were out there working alongside them helping to make this house what will soon be our home. It’s humbling to see so many, most of whom we’ve never met, doing so much to help us have a home where we won’t have to make do to accommodate Justin’s wheelchair like we have to do almost everywhere outside of Walter Reed. It’s amazing! I’m so proud to say I’m from Palm Bay/Brevard County where people and local businesses are so military minded and put actions to the words “we support our troops”.

Saturday's group of volunteers

Some of the local businesses who have donated resources, skills, and time. If you live in the area and need any of their services, please consider supporting these places.

I’ve mentioned Sharptown and Heroes Haven several times before, so I won’t go into the full background, but what started out as a hunting trip has become so much more for our family. Saturday was their annual Heroes Haven crab feast fundraiser. We were able to get away for the weekend and attend the dinner. One of the guys from a previous year even flew in from California to attend the crab feast. This community definitely knows make people feel welcome and show their support. Every tickets for this event was sold out and there were people on waiting lists in case someone cancelled. I got a little emotional when the DJ sang "God Bless the U.S.A." and people all over the room stood and sang with him. These people proudly support our troops, wounded and non-wounded. While this wasn’t our first return trips since the Heroes Haven hunting trip back in October, this was the first time Justin was up and walking. I’m so glad they were able to see such visible progress in how Justin’s doing. Sharptown truly has become our haven while we’re in Maryland. After spending time with such wonderful people and being able to relax away from the hustle and bustle of being so close to D.C., we all felt refreshed. Corey came back with a basket full of goodies that someone won for him in the silent auction. It was an all-around great weekend. I’m so thankful for this community who has made us part of their family. I’m excited for the next group that will get to experience Heroes Haven.

I don’t say all of this to drum up support for us, but to thank the amazing people who have been there for us even when we were complete strangers. We have an amazing family and awesome friends. Not all service members are so fortunate. People have called me strong for sticking by Justin’s side through all of this. I don’t see myself as strong. I made a promise on our wedding day to be with him for better and for worse, for sickness and in health. Sticking with him just makes me faithful. Now Justin, he’s strong. He pushes himself hard and doesn’t let things keep him down. I’m so thankful that he’s a fighter. It would make my life harder if I had to constantly be pushing him to get better, if he gave up. Though I wish he’d push himself a little harder when it comes to things like taking out the trash, but we’ll get there…I hope. lol Even if we don’t, I’m still thankful for him and everything he does/can do.

for more information about Heroes Haven:

http://bethb09.blogspot.com/2013/10/heroes-haven.html

for more on some of the non-profits who have helped us on our journey:

http://bethb09.blogspot.com/2014/02/a-special-thank-you-to-people-who-make.html

Celebrities and Heroes

I’ve met a lot of cool people over the past year. Some are famous with names and faces most people would recognize. Today I met a man and I had no clue until Justin told me on our way back to Walter Reed the significance of who the man was. He introduced himself and his son, and I shook the man’s prosthetic right hand. He didn’t make a big deal or even mention his story. Honestly, I am surrounded by so many amputees, that he just blended in with the rest of the ones who were at the golf event. I won’t say that I’m desensitized to it because I’m amazed daily and what these awesome men and women overcome and the sacrifices they’ve made for our country. The difference with this man is that he is one of a small number of living Medal of Honor recipients from the war in Afghanistan. We had heard that Tiger Woods might make an appearance, but if he did it was after we left. To be honest, I’m a lot more honor to have met Leroy Petry, the Medal of Honor recipient, than I would have been if I’d met Tiger Woods. Nothing against Tiger, but while he may have more skills in the game of golf, the guys out there today were a lot more impressive. Quite a few were missing at least one leg, some missing both legs, others missing fingers or an arm, yet there they were, out on the golf course doing their best. For Justin, he’s having to relearn how to hit the ball so that it goes where he wants it. He has to learn a new stance, make adjustments for being three inches shorter than his pre-injury height, and keep his balance while standing on the equivalent of stilts while hitting the ball…and then take into account that he’s been walking on two legs for less than two months. All Tiger has to do is walk up and hit the ball.

My own lack of recognition for the Medal of Honor recipient that I met today made me think. How many recipients would I actually recognize? I did an online search and according to Wikipedia (I recognize that it isn’t the most accurate site on the internet, but it helped me find information on the man I met today), there are 8 living recipients from the war in Afghanistan. I can name many Purple Heart recipients that I know personally, but I’m embarrassed to say that of those 8 living Medal of Honor recipients, I recognized the names of only 2 and the face of just one of those two – the most recent recipient, Kyle Carpenter. Sadly, many Americans might know even less than that, but if you ask the average person to name the actors in their favorite television show or movie, they likely could tell you and possibly even name the children of the actor/actress, who they are currently and even formerly married to. All these people do is recite some lines and follow a script (and some of them not even very well), and can anyone tell me who the Kardashians are and why we should keep up with them??? Seriously, I don’t get the fascination. If you asked a sports fan to name all the starting players on their favorite team (and even the bench warmers), they likely could. All these people do is play a game and make millions.

Let me tell you about Leroy Petry. In May 2008, he was in a firefight against some insurgents when a grenade landed a few feet from him and two fellow soldiers (this was after being shot in both thighs). He picked up the grenade and attempted to toss it away. Right as he was releasing it, it exploded, taking his right arm, but saving his life and the lives of the two men who were with him. He didn’t let his injuries keep him down. He remained active duty in the Army even after losing his arm and today he was out golfing along with many other wounded service members. He didn’t introduce himself as a Medal of Honor recipient. He was just Leroy who was golfing with his young son, Landon. A man who showed Corey some of the cool stuff his mechanical arm could do.

It seems like every other week there is some sort of music or acting awards show where celebrities pat each other on the backs and try to get ratings for whichever network airs the show. They give speeches and sing songs and clap for each other. Pretty much every week, you could turn to a sports channel and find highly paid athletes throwing, kicking, dribbling, shooting, and hitting various types of balls and pucks and drivers racing around a track. These people are good at what they do, but people like Leroy Petry, Kyle Carpenter, Dakota Meyer, and the rest of the Medal of Honor recipients deserve so much more. Not only did they make sacrifices for our country, they put themselves in danger to save their fellow soldiers. That deserves so much more attention than celebrities, sports figures, and various scandals…though these brave men would never ask for any recognition. They likely would just say that they were doing their jobs if they’re anything like the Purple Heart recipients that I know.

Justin and two fellow amputees that he golfed with today

For more information about the living Medal of Honor recipients:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_living_Medal_of_Honor_recipients

For more information about Leroy Petry's story:

http://www.army.mil/article/61332/

A Light Unto My Path

Quite a few people I know (including Justin and me) are at a bit of a crossroad in life. For some of my military friends, it’s choosing to stay in or get out and if they get out, then what? For some it is choices in a civilian career – take a new position, a new job, a new direction or stay where they’re at? For some of my younger friends it might be choosing a college to attend after high school and choosing what educational path to pursue. For others of my friends it might be choices regarding relationships. For some the choice may be choosing between what is right and what is wrong, but for many, it’s choosing between choices where neither choice is a wrong. Sometimes those are the hardest decisions to make. Many times in life, I’ll pray for God to open a door, but when there are two good choices, I pray that God will close one of the doors to make it clear which path is the best to take.

The Bible talks a lot about paths. In many instances, it’s talking about keeping off the wrong path and staying on the right one. In others, it’s more of God directing our paths. Psalm 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” Back in the day before electricity and such, they used lamps it they needed to travel at night. Lamps aren’t nearly as powerful as some of these super bright flashlights that they make now. Lamps light up enough of the path so that you can see just far enough ahead so that you don’t trip over something. You can make out nearby landmarks, but can’t see much past that. God doesn’t show us the distant future, but He gives us enough light to keep us on the right path and keep us from falling. Proverbs 4:11-12 says, “I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, and when you run, you will not stumble.” It doesn’t say that there won’t be bumps and obstacles in the road, because let’s face it, nobody has a perfect life. Jesus was perfect, and He didn’t even have a perfect life, so why should we expect any different of our lives? People were always trying to trip Him up, and that’s before the whole mock trial and putting Him to death part. Thankfully, those people weren’t in control and those difficulties in Jesus’ path eventually led to the path of Salvation for mankind.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” These verses are not always easy for me. It’s not that I don’t trust God because I do. It’s the not leaning on my own understanding part. I’ll confess, I’ve got some issues with control. I like to be in control of situations and choose what happens next. When things happen that I have no control over (particularly things I don’t want to happen), it takes me a bit to adapt. While Justin was deployed in Iraq, we were engaged. He called me one morning and told me that he had just received orders to his next duty station – Germany. This was not in my plan. My plan entailed us staying at Ft. Stewart for a good, long time after we were married. Nothing in my plan had anything to do with living in a foreign country. Even once we were there, I had a hard time with it. I asked God why he would send us there so far away from everyone who gave a care about us. It took me a while, but eventually I got to the point where instead of complaining to God about how much I didn’t like it there, I would pray that God would allow me to be a blessing to someone so that I could see a point in being there. Looking back, I can see now how God used the difficulties I faced to help change me into a more compassionate person. Not a perfect person as I’m still a work in progress, but through my struggles, I was able to later help others dealing with similar struggles. Had I not gone through them, I probably wouldn’t have even thought about other people’s needs in those areas.

I’m on a different part of my path now, and to be completely honest, I don’t know why God has brought us here. I struggle with it. So many things are out of my control right now and sometimes it just plain drives me nuts. The light from my lamp is showing me a little bit ahead, but the more distant future is still dark (not dark in the evil sense of the word) and uncertain. I know what directions I’d like my path to head, but some of those choices aren’t mine to make. I just have to pray that God will lead us in the best direction for our family and pray that he’ll close the doors in the directions that aren’t the best…they aren’t necessarily wrong directions, just not the best. When looking up verses with the word “path” in them, I came across this one. Psalm 142:1-3a says, “I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication. I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.” Sometimes things get overwhelming. Sometimes the future can look scary, and I don’t know what’s next, but God does. He knows my path. In fact, he’s known it since before I was born. He knew every step I would take, every choice I would make, and every twist and turn and bump in my path long before they happened. It’s comforting to know that God knows what’s next even when I don’t have a clue. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Notice is says HIS purpose, not my purpose. That goes back to me letting go and letting God have control even when I don’t understand – or maybe especially when I don’t understand. I need to trust that He will work things out for the best even when it sure doesn’t seem like any good can come out of a situation. II Corinthians 12:9 says, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Like I said, I’m not perfect, and I struggle with the whole giving glory for my infirmities part, but it’s a comfort to know that God’s grace is sufficient. He’s brought me through what probably has been the most difficult year of my life to this point. I’m a different person than I was before Justin was injured. Some people have comment as to how strong I am. I don’t really see myself as strong most days…some days I feel like I’m struggling just to survive. I’m thankful for the power of Christ that gives me strength when I’m at my weakest. I Peter 5:7 says, “casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” What a comfort it is to know that the God who created the universe cares enough about me to listen and help me when I pray – and even knows the deepest thoughts of my heart when I’m too overwhelmed to pray the words.

Father's Day

Yesterday marked one year since both Justin and I arrived at Walter Reed. A year ago he was worn out from his flight from Germany, was in ICU, and the doctors were working to get his pain under control. We were unsure as to whether or not he would be able to keep his knees. We didn't know much of anything other than the fact he was alive and were together. Corey was in Georgia with my parents. They were waiting until after his first and only tee-ball game before they took him down to Florida for a while. Today is Father's Day. Last year on Father's day, Justin wasn't able to spend the day with Corey, but he did get to spend it with his dad, mom, brothers, and sister. This year he got to spend the day with Corey, his Granny, cousin, sister, and me. Yesterday he was walking around and fishing. He's come so far in the past year, and he feels so much better...especially over the last few months. It's amazing and I'm so thankful. It made my heart happy yesterday watching everyone have such a good time together, away from the hospital, and in such good health.

Happy Father's day to all my dad friends and family! I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father who loves me and has never left my side. I may not always understand the paths life takes me, but I've never walked them alone. I'm thankful for my dad. He has taught me many things like how to change a tire, how to use a computer, and how to use Microsoft Excel (I know he'll laugh at that when he reads this). He went with me to school field trips and even learned to play the saxophone so that he could join my sister and me in band. He came to Germany to be there for Corey's birth, and has done a lot with Corey over the past year when Corey was in Florida with him and my mom. I'm thankful for Justin. I love seeing him and Corey together. Whether it's cuddling on the couch or helping Justin fish, every moment seeing the two of them is precious. I'm thankful for my father-in-law who raised Justin and taught him to be the man he is today. I'm thankful for my grandfathers and the many opportunities I had to spend with them when I was younger. I'm thankful that I still am able to spend time with them - not as often since I live further away, but I am blessed to still have them around. I'm thankful for my brothers-in-law that, along with my sisters, have given me 1 sweet little niece and 3 precious little nephews. I am blessed to have these awesome dads - by birth and by marriage - in my life.

what a difference a year makes

love these two!

Justin's first time holding Corey

my dad holding Corey for the first time

Justin seeing Corey for the first time post-injury

By way of introduction

My name is Beth, and I'm a proud Army wounded warrior's wife and mother of an energetic 4 year old. My life today is nothing like I expected it to be, but life seldom goes as expected. My husband, Justin, and I have been married 5 years. He has been in the Army for 8 years, deployed to Iraq once and Afghanistan twice. It was on his third deployment - second deployment to Afghanistan - that he was hit by a 107mm rocket and lost both legs below the knee. Within a week, he was flown to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center where we've been for the past year. I've shared much of our journey via Facebook, but quite a few people have suggested that I start a blog, so here I am. I'm going to attempt to go back and post some of my notes from Facebook on here to catch up from the past year.

*Figured out how to change the dates on the post to reflect when I originally posted them, so if you want to read back, they'll be in order from the one month post-injury update that I wrote.

One Year update and our weekend trip

What can I say to sum up a whole year? This time a year ago, I was in Georgia with my friends Katie and Neil waiting to hear more news on Justin’s condition. My parents were on their way up from Florida. I had no clue where life would take us at that point. When I packed my suitcase, I figured that I would be gone for a few weeks until he got well enough to continue his rehab and such at Ft. Stewart. I could not have been more wrong. One year later and we’re still at Walter Reed and it’s looking like we won’t be leaving for another year (unless the paperwork for the Army and VA get through with no/minimal mistakes which the chances are slim to none of that happening).

After he was injured, Justin spent about 6 weeks inpatient. He was on quite a cocktail of pain medication and remembers very little about those first 6 weeks post-injury. I’ve been asked how many surgeries he’s had, and I honestly can’t remember because it’s been so many. He’s been readmitted to inpatient four times due to one or both legs not healing properly. Since the most recent time in March, both legs are finally closed! Also since March, Justin has gotten off all of the pain medication (aside from meds for his nerve pain), and he feels 100% better. Justin’s been on two legs for a month now and is doing great. He’s still working to find a balance between overdoing and pushing himself. He definitely can’t be accused of slacking when it comes to working toward getting better. Now his progress is dependent on his effort rather than waiting for his body to heal which was out of his control. His occupational therapist told him this morning that he’s about to the point where he won’t need OT anymore, so they’re going to be transitioning him from one hour of PT and one hour of OT to two hours of PT. (For those who don’t know the difference, OT works more with regaining the ability to do activities of daily living and PT works more on regaining strength and mobility.) He’s definitely making some great progress!

I know I’ve said a lot about Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing over the last year, and I’ve got more to say. Some of the other non-profits have helped us out a great deal, but PHW is the only one that we see every week and multiple times in a week if there’s a fishing trip. This past weekend was a fishing trip weekend. The thing that was the most different about this trip is that Justin was able to fish standing up for the first time since he was injured. He did a great job walking (with a cane) on uneven terrain and keeping his balance while casting and reeling in the fish…and he caught some nice fish. Corey had a great time hitching a ride on the various golf carts and ATVs and playing with the other kids. He got to help Justin’s teammate pick out which flies to use (and was given flies for his own box by quite a few of the volunteers). At dinner, a couple of the participants got up to tell their stories of how PHW has helped them. It got me thinking. Every participant has their own story, and I’d guess that the volunteers and staff have stories to tell as well. The story of how it all got started is pretty neat too. It all started with the founder of PHW having to be hospitalized at Walter Reed. As he was recovering, he saw the things they were doing in the occupational therapy areas to help with fine motor skills and that got him to thinking about how fly tying could help and it grew from there. Now there are PHW chapters in 49 of the 50 states (and they’re working on state #50). For Justin, it’s a chance to hang out with people who have similar interests. They’re people who have been in similar situations and are also overcoming obstacles. The volunteers come every week and are such an encouragement. Fishing is the overall theme, but there’s so much more to it than catching fish. You can see it the most at the fishing trips. At the beginning of the day, everyone’s kind of tired and more subdued. They introduce themselves to the people who came from other chapters and to the volunteers and make small talk. By the end of the day, everyone is swapping stories and talking like they’ve know each other for years. E-mail addresses and phone numbers are exchanged, new friends are added on Facebook, and friendships are formed.

Then there’s the other aspect of it…being out on the water. Project Healing Waters is not a religious organization, but the concept of healing waters is. In Psalm 23, David wrote “he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul.” Jesus talks about being the Living Water. In Bethesda (the Biblical one, not the one in Maryland – though here at Walter Reed in Bethesda, MD, God has healed many people through medical advances and some amazing doctors), people with various infirmities waited by a pool for an angel to stir up the waters, and then they’d jump in and hope to be healed. Even fishing is mentioned in the Bible. Being a fisherman prior to being chosen as a disciple is the highest percentage of Jesus’ disciples. As a kid, I learned the song “Peace Like a River”. The hymn “It is Well With my Soul” start out with the phrase “When peace like a river attendeth my way”. God is the only one who can bring true healing and peace, but I believe that he can use circumstances and surroundings to help. Bring out on the water, I feel the stress melt away, and I can just sit and enjoy the sounds of the water, hear the birds chirping, and just relax. When we moved to Georgia from Germany, we were house hunting. We didn’t like living so close to so many other people and wanted some peace and quiet. We were blessed to find a house to rent right on a tidal creek. I loved being able to walk out the back door and be able to just sit and watch the water. This kind of relaxation is so important for so many people. For Justin, going to appointments every day and dealing with the bureaucratic red tape, hearing the sounds of construction, traffic, and sirens is draining. Project Healing Waters gives him the opportunity to get away from all that and just relax. Catching fish is the object, but so much more is accomplished on these trips.

Over the past year, we’ve had ups and downs, progress and setbacks, blessings and frustrations. I’ve asked God “why?” more times than I can remember. I don’t believe that questioning the purpose of all this is wrong. I think it shows that I have faith that God has a reason even though I don’t always see it or understand it. God may not always clearly show me the reasons, but I know that He will bring us through the difficult times. He’s brought us through the past year and hopefully the worst is behind us. He’s blessed us in ways we never expected. He’s provided in ways we never even thought to ask both in big and small ways. Thinking about what the future holds is both exciting and scary. I’m so thankful that I know that God is in control and nothing that happens is a surprise to Him. I don’t know why Justin was injured, but I’m thankful that God protected him from worse injuries and death. I’m thankful for the men that were up on the mountain with Justin that saved his life. I’m thankful for the doctors and nurses that have helped Justin in the healing process. I’m thankful for the therapists who have helped Justin get to where he is today. I’m thankful for family and friends who have helped us and encouraged us along this journey. I’m thankful for Justin and his determined spirit. He doesn’t let his injuries keep him down. He pushes himself and keeps a good sense of humor (warped as it may be). We are blessed in so many ways.

He caught his first fish of the day STANDING!