A Light Unto My Path

Quite a few people I know (including Justin and me) are at a bit of a crossroad in life. For some of my military friends, it’s choosing to stay in or get out and if they get out, then what? For some it is choices in a civilian career – take a new position, a new job, a new direction or stay where they’re at? For some of my younger friends it might be choosing a college to attend after high school and choosing what educational path to pursue. For others of my friends it might be choices regarding relationships. For some the choice may be choosing between what is right and what is wrong, but for many, it’s choosing between choices where neither choice is a wrong. Sometimes those are the hardest decisions to make. Many times in life, I’ll pray for God to open a door, but when there are two good choices, I pray that God will close one of the doors to make it clear which path is the best to take.

The Bible talks a lot about paths. In many instances, it’s talking about keeping off the wrong path and staying on the right one. In others, it’s more of God directing our paths. Psalm 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” Back in the day before electricity and such, they used lamps it they needed to travel at night. Lamps aren’t nearly as powerful as some of these super bright flashlights that they make now. Lamps light up enough of the path so that you can see just far enough ahead so that you don’t trip over something. You can make out nearby landmarks, but can’t see much past that. God doesn’t show us the distant future, but He gives us enough light to keep us on the right path and keep us from falling. Proverbs 4:11-12 says, “I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, and when you run, you will not stumble.” It doesn’t say that there won’t be bumps and obstacles in the road, because let’s face it, nobody has a perfect life. Jesus was perfect, and He didn’t even have a perfect life, so why should we expect any different of our lives? People were always trying to trip Him up, and that’s before the whole mock trial and putting Him to death part. Thankfully, those people weren’t in control and those difficulties in Jesus’ path eventually led to the path of Salvation for mankind.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” These verses are not always easy for me. It’s not that I don’t trust God because I do. It’s the not leaning on my own understanding part. I’ll confess, I’ve got some issues with control. I like to be in control of situations and choose what happens next. When things happen that I have no control over (particularly things I don’t want to happen), it takes me a bit to adapt. While Justin was deployed in Iraq, we were engaged. He called me one morning and told me that he had just received orders to his next duty station – Germany. This was not in my plan. My plan entailed us staying at Ft. Stewart for a good, long time after we were married. Nothing in my plan had anything to do with living in a foreign country. Even once we were there, I had a hard time with it. I asked God why he would send us there so far away from everyone who gave a care about us. It took me a while, but eventually I got to the point where instead of complaining to God about how much I didn’t like it there, I would pray that God would allow me to be a blessing to someone so that I could see a point in being there. Looking back, I can see now how God used the difficulties I faced to help change me into a more compassionate person. Not a perfect person as I’m still a work in progress, but through my struggles, I was able to later help others dealing with similar struggles. Had I not gone through them, I probably wouldn’t have even thought about other people’s needs in those areas.

I’m on a different part of my path now, and to be completely honest, I don’t know why God has brought us here. I struggle with it. So many things are out of my control right now and sometimes it just plain drives me nuts. The light from my lamp is showing me a little bit ahead, but the more distant future is still dark (not dark in the evil sense of the word) and uncertain. I know what directions I’d like my path to head, but some of those choices aren’t mine to make. I just have to pray that God will lead us in the best direction for our family and pray that he’ll close the doors in the directions that aren’t the best…they aren’t necessarily wrong directions, just not the best. When looking up verses with the word “path” in them, I came across this one. Psalm 142:1-3a says, “I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication. I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.” Sometimes things get overwhelming. Sometimes the future can look scary, and I don’t know what’s next, but God does. He knows my path. In fact, he’s known it since before I was born. He knew every step I would take, every choice I would make, and every twist and turn and bump in my path long before they happened. It’s comforting to know that God knows what’s next even when I don’t have a clue. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Notice is says HIS purpose, not my purpose. That goes back to me letting go and letting God have control even when I don’t understand – or maybe especially when I don’t understand. I need to trust that He will work things out for the best even when it sure doesn’t seem like any good can come out of a situation. II Corinthians 12:9 says, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Like I said, I’m not perfect, and I struggle with the whole giving glory for my infirmities part, but it’s a comfort to know that God’s grace is sufficient. He’s brought me through what probably has been the most difficult year of my life to this point. I’m a different person than I was before Justin was injured. Some people have comment as to how strong I am. I don’t really see myself as strong most days…some days I feel like I’m struggling just to survive. I’m thankful for the power of Christ that gives me strength when I’m at my weakest. I Peter 5:7 says, “casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” What a comfort it is to know that the God who created the universe cares enough about me to listen and help me when I pray – and even knows the deepest thoughts of my heart when I’m too overwhelmed to pray the words.