Caregivers Retreat

About 6 weeks ago, my America’s Fund case manager (who I also consider a friend), contacted me regarding an upcoming caregiver’s retreat in Florida. I couldn’t reply back fast enough to ask her to sign me up. I don’t miss being at Walter Reed, but I miss the kinship I felt with the other caregivers during our time there. The Semper Fi Fund/America’s Fund (SFF/AF) holds various activities specifically for caregivers and I really enjoyed the Ladies Night Out dinners that I attended (Caregivers Night Out). There are a lot of organizations out there that help and encourage wounded veterans which is awesome, but most of them are specifically and solely for the veteran and tend to ignore the families. Don’t get me wrong, I think our wounded veterans deserve the attention and appreciation, but when a service member is injured, the injury may only touch them, but it effects the entire family in various ways. My son was 3 ½ when Justin was injured. He’s not the same kid as he was 2 years ago. I’m not the same person that I was 2 years ago. Physically, the past 2 years have been harder on Justin, but emotionally, I think it’s been harder on me because I’m a more emotional person in general. Just recently, I’ve come to a degree of acceptance with things to see that June 9, 2013 wasn’t the end, but a beginning of a new type of journey. Anyway, that’s another subject for another blog…back to the retreat. After I responded to Stephanie, she sent me more details about the retreat. It would be taking place at a beach side resort in St. Pete Beach, on the west coast of Florida near Tampa. Everyone would arrive on the Friday and head home on Sunday. The closer it got to the retreat, the more excited I got. I needed some time to myself to relax and regroup.

Then came the day of the retreat. Having gone to school in the Tampa area, I knew how bad I-4 traffic can get on a Friday afternoon. I decided to leave in the morning (the first event of the retreat wasn’t until 6 pm) and visit with some friends who are like family to me that live in Tampa before heading to the resort. Upon arriving at the Don CeSar Hotel, I checked in and was greeted by four wonderful SFF/AF case managers who put a lot of time into planning such a wonderful weekend for us. I settled into my room and then headed over to the spa to receive my deep tissue massage. Talk about a great way to start the weekend. Then I took a walk on the beach which got me even more relaxed. Being on/near/in the water is my happy place.

Around 6 pm, everyone started arriving at the Sunset Pavilion for some social time and dinner. One of my friends from Walter Reed was able to come on the retreat, and it was great to catch up with her and to meet the other ladies. There were around 40 of us on the retreat. Some were spouses, others mothers caring for an adult son or daughter, and a fiancé or two. Many of the spouses, like me, are also raising children in addition to being a caregiver to their husband. While at dinner, the sun began to set (the Sunset Pavilion has an excellent view), so we all hurried out to the beach (about 10 feet from the outdoor patio where we were eating dinner) to get a group shot with the sunset in the background and another shot with the hotel in the background. It was so beautiful watching the sun set over the water. After dinner, some people went out, others hit the hot tub, and some went back to the rooms to rest up for the next day.

Saturday was a day packed with activities to help us relax and de-stress. We started the day bright and early with yoga on the beach at 8 am. Those of you who know me know that I am so not a morning person and do not have the best balance ever. I put forth a good effort, but my favorite poses were the resting ones that nearly put me back to sleep. Lol Then came a delicious breakfast on the pavilion. After breakfast, we headed upstairs to the conference room for some classes. The first one was on managing stress. The lady who spoke asked some very thought provoking questions that hit home to probably all of us. It was a bit emotional for some to voice their struggles and hear others going through the exact same thing. The next class was a bit lighter. It was how to art journal. It was interesting and kind of fun, but I think I’ll stick to writing. My art skills leave much to be desired. Lol 

Then we took a break for lunch which was very tasty. After lunch, we painted wine glasses. Some of the ladies were very artistic and their glasses looked really cool. Mine…well, it’s colorful. While I’m not especially talented in that area, it was fun to try something that I normally wouldn’t. As with the art journals, my glass is no masterpiece, but laughing and chatting with the other ladies while making my attempt at art was pretty relaxing.

The last schedule activity of the afternoon was stretching techniques. Once again, the resting positions nearly put me to sleep (but that says I was really relaxed, right?). Some of the stretches felt really good to work the kinks out of my shoulders and neck. I need to remember to do those at home when I’m sitting for a while. After the classes were done, I hit the beach again. While I was standing in the water, about a dozen stingrays swam past me. It was pretty cool. I don’t think I’ve ever seen stingrays in the wild before.

Then came time to head to downtown St. Pete for some shopping and dinner. On the bus, they gave us each a Visa gift card with the instructions to spend it on ourselves. That may sound like an easy thing, but it’s really not. When I go shopping, I see something and my first thoughts are “Corey would like this” or “Justin would like that” or “my mom would like this”. When I shop for myself, it’s usually necessities like clothes, shoes, etc. I went through many shops, but most were kind of artsy and I didn’t really see much that caught my eye, but there was one thing that just fascinated me. It was called Exotic Sands. Just watching the sand swirl and fall in different patterns each time I flipped it was kind of soothing, so I decided to get it because it fit with the weekend as a whole. Then came another delicious meal before heading back to the hotel. Once we got back, I decided to hit the hot tub and relax with the other ladies a bit before turning in for the night.

 My Exotic Sands thing

Sunday morning, we had a nice farewell breakfast. Many of us exchanged contact information or looked each other up on Facebook so that we could keep in touch. It was sad to see the weekend come to a close. I hope that someday, I can meet up with my new friends because I’d love to spend more time getting to know them. I’m so thankful that SFF/AF brought us all together to share and learn from each other. I’m also thankful that I drove to the retreat because many of the ladies who flew there had trouble fitting all the goodies that SFF/AF spoiled us with in their suitcases. If I could change anything about the weekend, it would be to add more hours to the days because time just flew by way too fast with all the fun we were having. One thing that we heard in one of the classes was that depression happens when you focus too much on the past and anxiety when you focus too much on the future. Sometimes you just have to focus on the present. I know I’m guilty of not just focusing on the past but on the way I wanted the future to be before June 9, 2013 happened. Sometimes I do get anxious thinking about the future and about what things will be like when Justin is old and not as independent. I often have to remind myself to trust God for the future because worrying about it won’t change anything. I have to remind myself not just to live in the present and enjoy the blessings that God has given me, but also to live for eternity. The difficulties of life are so short…though while I’m going through them, sometimes they seem never ending. But God can use those trials to bring about something amazing in the long run. To sum it all up, I came away from the weekend with a lot of things to think about, some tips and things to try to help manage stress, a heart that was full of thankfulness, and a mind that felt relaxed and refreshed. Not bad for just one full day and two partial days. Thank you, Semper Fi Fund/America’s Fund for caring for caregivers and making us feel so special and appreciated!