Sunday, May 11, 2014

Thoughts on Mother's Day

I have never appreciated my mom so much as I have in the past year. She is one of the most selfless and giving people that I know. She has always been there when I needed her even if it meant flying to a different country to be there for the birth of my son. In fact, she’s been there for the birth of every grandchild of hers regardless of what state or country the little one was born in. When I needed her the most, on the day that Justin was injured, she and dad dropped everything to come be and Corey and me. They waited anxiously with me for word on Justin’s condition. They stayed at my house an extra day so that they could take Corey to his first and only tee-ball game. They took Corey home with them and have cared for him for many weeks over the past year while I focused on caring for Justin. Even after my grandparents moved in with my parents so that mom could help take care of my Grandma, my mom still agreed to let Corey stay with them for a few weeks while Justin was inpatient for another surgery. She agreed with no hesitation even though I hated to ask because I knew it would put more on her already busy plate. I appreciate and love her more than I could ever begin to tell her. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

I would also like to wish my Mother-in-law a happy Mother's Day! She raised three boys and is still raising their daughter...and they didn't always make it easy. lol She started young with having children, but finished school, got a college degree, and had a career as a respiratory therapist. She gave up that career to spend more time with her kids and eventually homeschooled Regan. Corey loves his Mamaw very much and spent a lot of time with her when he came up for a couple weeks while Justin was initially inpatient. I am thankful that Corey was able to come up during that difficult time and thankful that I had help with him.

I also want to recognize the amazing moms here at Walter Reed. The first are the moms caring for their adult sons and daughters. They thought they were done with the day to day care, but then something happened that changed that. For some it was during a deployment, for others it was during training, or automobile accidents. Whatever the reason, they left behind their lives and came here. Some were only here while their son or daughter was inpatient, others have stayed until someone else was able to come take over, and others will be here until their son or daughter leaves Walter Reed. They have left behind spouses, other children who still live at home, careers, pets, and friends. They have sacrificed their own “normal” to help their son or daughter find their “new normal”. The second type is the spouse of the wounded warrior who is both caring for her husband while raising their children. Falling in this second type, I can tell you, it’s a tough job. It’s a balancing act trying to give both Justin and Corey the care they deserve. Thankfully Justin is getting to a point where he’s fairly independent, but it’s been a long road to get to this point. The most difficult times have been when he’s inpatient. Corey does not like hospitals. It scares him to see Justin in pain and a small hospital room isn’t the type place that an active little boy like Corey enjoys being for very long (or at all). I’m so thankful for Justin’s Granny who has come when we called to help with Corey during these times. She’s made juggling my priorities so much easier. She’s cared for Corey while I spent time with Justin, and she spent time with Justin while I hung out with Corey when he just needed his mommy.

Another group of moms that I want to thank are the mothers who choose to love someone else’s children. These could be foster moms, adoptive moms, and step-moms. For some it’s stepping in and raising family members when the parents had passed away or were unable to care for the children. Others have felt the call to foster. They come to love these children and it breaks their heart to have to give them up not knowing if they’ll ever see the child again. Others choose to grow their families by adoption (some of these adoptions started out as fostering). These mothers choose to love their adopted children. For some kids, their adoptive parents are the only parents they’ve ever known. Other kids are adopted a bit older and come with baggage. It’s amazing for me to watch from the outside and see the transformation that occurs from the time the child is first adopted and how they grow and thrive with the love of their new mother (and father). For others it’s when one or both parents already have children from previous relationships when they marry. The step-parent does not take the place of the biological parent (in most cases, though in some the step-parent treats the child better than the bio parent), but comes to love the children because they love the person they married. It’s easy to love a child that is your own. For most, it comes naturally. I don’t have to force myself to love my son. I love him, if for no other reason, because he is my son. The types of mothers I just mentioned choose to love the children that they have brought into their lives. They have given these children a priceless gift, and in many cases, this love has changed their lives. I pray that God will bless them greatly for the blessing they have brought to the lives of these children.

I’d like to ask for prayer for those who are missing their moms today. Some have just lost them in the past year and the pain of the loss is still fresh. Prayers also for the mothers who have lost children…even if they never were able to hold the precious little one in their arms. A special prayer also for those who desperately want to be a mother, but for whatever reason, are not able at this time. Love them, listen if they need to talk, don’t try to “fix” their problems, and if you don’t know what to say, just hug them and let them know you care.

For all my friends and family members who are mothers, happy Mother’s Day!

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