Thanksgiving - part 3

I'm a little late on part 3. We've been pretty busy over the past week. Here’s part 3 of my November Thankful list.
For part 1: http://bethb09.blogspot.com/2014/11/thanksgiving-part-1.html
For part 2: http://bethb09.blogspot.com/2014/11/thanksgiving-part-2.html

15)      I’m thankful for laughter. Laughter truly is the best medicine. Life is hard sometimes, but if you look hard enough, you can usually find something to laugh about even if it’s at your own expense. Other times (usually when I’m very tired), I’ll get laughing so hard that I’m crying over something that isn’t overly funny. It’s quite therapeutic. I’m thankful for a sense of humor. Having a sense of humor has helped a lot through our journey. When you open a backpack just days post-injury and find half a dozen pairs of socks…given to someone who just lost both legs, you can either laugh or cry. Justin and I chose to laugh. When you’re shoe shopping for prosthetic feet and it takes the whole family to get the shoes off, you can either get frustrated or laugh. We laughed (while our friend took a picture of the spectacle). Laughter doesn’t make the problems go away, but it makes them seem not quite as bad.

16)      I’m thankful for all the amazing people that we’ve had the opportunity to meet and become friends with over the past year and a half. Sure, the circumstances that caused us to meet aren’t that great, but I’m thankful that we met. The wonderful medical staff who took such great care of Justin and took the time to get to know us on a personal level rather than just being a number attached to a list of injuries. The other injured service members and their caregivers who are going through the same or similar things, dealing with the same red tape, experiencing the highs and lows that come with situations like ours. They get it. They understand firsthand what we’re going through and we understand what they’re going through. I’m thankful for the people we’ve met who volunteer/work for the many non-profits and others we’ve met because of those non-profits.

17)      I’m thankful for my hometown. It’s not a perfect place, but I’ve never been to a perfect place, so that’s okay. There are good and bad people who live there, but I’ve seen a lot more of the good ones. No matter where in the country or in the world we’ve lived, it’s always been home. Earlier this year when someone from the city called and asked if we wanted a house, I was amazed, but the best part was when I found out that because of our story, they’d be giving homes to 20-35 other families of wounded service members. I’ve heard from other families like ours that they were rejected by non-profits for adapted homes because they “weren’t injured enough”. That’s not how my hometown is. They saw a need and found a way to meet that need – the need to help wounded men and women who have served our country. There’s no matrix to decide if a person is “hurt enough”. They just want to help. The city, the Space Coast Paratroopers Association, the volunteers who help fix up the houses, and the local business who donate the materials and labor all just want to help. I wish other places were more like my hometown.

18)      I’m thankful for the AWANA program. For those who don’t know, it’s a program for kids through local churches. I grew up in AWANA and it helped me build a strong foundation for what I believe. The lady who was my AWANA leader and Sunday school teacher played a huge role in my choice to accept Jesus as my Savior. Now my son is in AWANA. He started as a Puggle in our church in Georgia. Last year, he wasn’t able to be at AWANA most weeks, but between our churches in Georgia and Florida, he managed to finish his book. This year he missed the first few months due to being in Maryland, but now he’s in FL for good and will be able to finish out the year more normally than last year. He loves going to Cubbies and it warms my heart to see how happy everyone was to welcome him back for good.

19)      I’m thankful for Ladies Night Out. I just went to my last one as our time at Walter Reed is coming to a close. It was a lot of fun as usual, but bittersweet in that I knew it would be the last time I spent time with a lot of the ladies. I’m glad to be going home for good, but I’ve made some great friends in Maryland that I will miss.

20)      I’m thankful for the beauty of God’s creation. I’m not really into fishing like Justin is, but one thing I loved about going on the fishing trips with him (aside from spending time with him and Corey) was getting outdoors, away from the big city rush and enjoying the beautiful surroundings. Seeing the beautiful green of spring and the colors of fall while sitting beside a peaceful creek was therapeutic. Being able to breathe in the fresh air without the sounds of traffic and construction was great. I love sitting on the beach hearing the waves. I love the colors of the sunset (sunrise too, but I’m not overly fond of being awake that early). I enjoy seeing other people’s pictures of snow…if I was taking my own pictures I’d have to be in the snow and that’s way too cold for this Florida girl!

21)      I’m thankful for my truck (though Justin would say it’s his but I’ve put way more miles on it). Almost a year ago, with the help of a couple grants, we were able to purchase a brand new truck. We have two other vehicles, but they both have over 100,000 miles on them, and we wanted something new with basically no miles that we could get adapted for Justin’s needs. Our truck now has hand controls and a wheelchair crane so that Justin can get where he needs to go without needing me or someone else to assist him. For an active, independent guy like Justin, that’s huge. It’s also pretty fun to drive and has some nice extras included that make long road trips a lot more comfortable.

Unbreakable Bonds

Tonight I would like to tell you about a book that I just finished reading. Unlike most of the books I read, this one isn’t fiction. Also unlike most of the stories I read, I already knew the ending to most of the chapters. It was like reading the conclusion of a story first and then going back and finding out how the characters got to that point, except the characters in this book are real people, many of whom I have met and see on a regular basis. This book is about ten of the “Mighty Moms” of Walter Reed and their wounded sons and daughter.

Their stories and my own are different in perspective, and each wounded warrior and his/her family have a different story to tell, but there are many similarities. For them, it was an adult son or daughter that was injured; for me it was my husband. For them, they had to leave behind jobs, spouses, and often, other children that were/are still at home so that they could care for their wounded child. For me, the life I once lived no longer exists. I had to leave my young son (age 3 ½ when his daddy was injured) with family for a while so that I could take care of Justin’s needs when he was inpatient. For many of them, they both cared for their wounded adult child and a younger child or grandchild. For me, I cared for my injured husband and my young son once Justin was released to outpatient care. We all received that horrible call that our loved one was injured. For them it was from the military; for me, Justin was able to call and tell me himself. He was not quite in as critical condition as the ones in the book. One thing we all have in common – the reason we all ended up at Walter Reed – is that someone we love needed us, and we came. None of us truly knew what we were getting into when we boarded the plane or jumped in the car to travel to Walter Reed, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was getting here and seeing our loved ones. We’ve experienced similar highs and lows, progress and setbacks. We’ve lived in the same building and have sat in appointments with many of the same doctors. We’ve also all been helped in some way by some of the many non-profit organizations (and most of us were at the Semper Fi Fund/America’s Fund sponsored Ladies Night Out a few nights ago).

Most of the wounded men (the one injured woman was gone before we arrived) that were in the book are either still at Walter Reed or were here at some point since we’ve been here, so I’ve seen them mobile, for some, that means walking, for others, it’s in a wheelchair. I’ve seen them alive and doing relatively well. I didn’t know them before their injuries, and I didn’t know them when things were at their worst, so it was interesting to read the book and learn more about, not just their stories, but how their stories touched their families. What their families went through when they received the call that their loved one was injured.

I would encourage you, my friends and family, to read this book. Read the stories of these injured men and woman and their amazing mothers and keep them all in your thoughts and prayers. Many are still at Walter Reed recovering from their injuries and working toward their “new normal”. Others have been released and medically retired and in the next chapter of their lives – living with their injuries outside of the hospital setting and their mothers transitioning from 24/7 caretaker to whatever role is needed and rejoining the rest of their families. It’s not an easy life, but even in the difficulties, there are many blessings and the stories of these men and women show that just as my family’s story does. Injuries aren’t the end, they’re just the beginning of a very different chapter.

Here are links to purchase the book from Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Unbreakable-Bonds-Mighty-Wounded-Warriors-ebook/dp/B00L4FSW2I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416536476&sr=8-1&keywords=unbreakable+bonds+the+mighty+moms+and+wounded+warriors+of+walter+reed

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/unbreakable-bonds-dava-guerin/1118070940?ean=9781629146980

Here are some of the Facebook pages that I could find if you would like to follow the continued progress and show your support for the wounded service members and their families:

 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Support-LCPL-Christian-Brown-USMC-Combat-Wounded/294258117278988?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Adam-Keys-One-Step-Forward/512070378836716?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mark-Fidler-Support-Page/325013790878802?sk=timeline

https://www.facebook.com/TeamDerekMcConnell?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser

Thoughts on Veterans Day

All my life I have been surrounded by veterans. Both of my grandfathers served in the military, one in the Air Force and one in the Army. The pastor of the church my family attended when I was very young was a Vietnam veteran. The youth pastor at the church I grew up in and still attend (though for the past 6 years, it’s only been during visits) served in the Marines. He is now the senior pastor at a church out of state, but he had quite an impact on many of us who went through the youth group while he was there. From that youth group before, during, and after the time I was in it, many of the youth chose to serve in our military in all of the branches – Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. Some are still serving right now. Of the ones of us who didn’t serve in the military, quite a few of us married someone in the military (and some both served and married someone who served). We were thankful to get to see Pastor Ernie and his wife again when they visited us at Walter Reed last year. Many others through my life have been veterans – men and women from various churches I have attended, people I’ve worked with, since marrying Justin I’ve met many active duty Army service members, and during our time at Walter Reed, many injured from all branches. I am thankful for all of them and the many sacrifices they have made and are currently making for our country.

One specific group of veterans that I’m especially thankful for on a personal level are the ones responsible for getting Justin back to our family alive. If not for them and their quick work stopping the bleeding, for them radioing for a helicopter as soon as they realized Justin was injured, for them safely getting Justin down the mountain, for the helicopter pilots arriving quickly and getting Justin to the field hospital in record time, and for all the medical personnel from the time he reached the field hospital to today who have cared for Justin, my life would be far different than it is now. June 9, 2013 could have ended tragically, but it didn’t. Yes, it’s horrible that Justin was injured, but he’s alive. He’s alive because of them, and I will always be thankful for the gift they gave me of having my husband return on a gurney rather than in a casket. Sure, I would have preferred the traditional homecoming ceremony where I anxiously waited in the bleachers to see him walk onto the field with his guys, but seeing him wheel onto the field to meet his guys as they returned was pretty awesome too.

To all my veteran friends and family, thank you for your service. To all my friends with family members in the military (both current and formerly), thank you for supporting your loved one as they serve(d). Happy Veterans Day!

Bubba - my dad's dad who served in the Air Force. I wish I had a military pic of my other grandfather with me to post.

Justin about to leave for his first deployment

Justin about to leave for his second deployment

Second deployment homecoming

expert infantry badge ruck march

Justin and his squad during his third deployment

Justin and his platoon - so thankful for these men who saved his life

June 9, 2013 shortly before he was injured (aka the last legs picture)

Justin receiving his purple heart

at the homecoming ceremony for his guys - Justin seeing his platoon sergeant for the first time since the day he was injured

with his guys at the homecoming ceremony saluting during the National Anthem

Thanksgiving - part 2

Here is part 2 of my November thankful list. For part 1, click here: Thanksgiving part 1

8)      I’m thankful for my country, the United States of America. It’s not a perfect country and the leaders don’t always make decisions that I agree with, but there’s no other country in the world that I would rather live in. I’m thankful for the freedoms that we have in the USA. There’s no other place quite like it, and I’m blessed and proud to be an American.

9)      I’m thankful for all the men and women who have served and are currently serving in our nation’s military. These men and women are the ones who gave us our freedom and who have kept us free. They have fought wars and made sacrifices that most people have no clue about. Many have died or have been injured during their service to our country. Our country would not be what it is today without them.

10)      I’m thankful for the military families that I’ve met since Justin and I got married. I’ve made some amazing friends at the various duty stations where we’ve lived. They’ve been my support system during deployments and many have become like family to me during times when my family was far away.

11)      I’m thankful for our “new normal”. The military life can be a crazy one with a lot of changes. I have no regrets about it, but it was hard for me to leave friends every few years and to be so far away from family. As Corey’s gotten older, it’s harder for him to leave behind people and places he became attached to. I wouldn’t have chosen this particular method of getting to a post-military life, but I’m thankful that our “new normal” is in our hometown in Florida. Justin’s been reconnecting with friends that he hung out with in high school. I’ve been able to spend time with friends that I hadn’t seen in a while and look forward to spending time with other friends. Living near family both on my side and on Justin’s side for the first time in our marriage will be wonderful. Corey is going to really enjoy being close to family and being able to see them whenever we want. Good-bye will mean “I’ll see you in a day or two” rather than 6 months from now. My son will get to grow up with the kids of people that I grew up with. He’ll get to grow up in the church I grew up with. Even though the reason for us living in our hometown at this point in our lives is due to Justin being injured which is a bad thing, we are blessed with how things have worked out. I’m excited to see what the future holds for our family.

12)      I’m thankful for all the non-profits who have made our lives easier over the past 17 months. I’ve said quite a lot previously about some of the various ones that have helped us out, so I won’t go into a full list right now. You can check out some of my previous blog posts for more information. One of the biggest things I’m thankful for with these non-profits is not just what they’ve done to help us, but the friendships that they’ve formed with us. They are people who we know that we can call if we need help, not from their organizations, but as friends who care about us. They have encouraged us through some very difficult times and I will forever be thankful for them.

13)      I’m thankful for all the support and encouragement we’ve received since Justin was injured. It’s been amazing to see the outpouring of love and support we’ve received over the past year and a half. We’ve had people all over the world praying for us. I’ve gotten some of the nicest letters, messages, and posts from friends, family, and strangers. At the end of some hard days, it was nice to open up my facebook or the Saluting Sgt Justin Burdette page and read the nice things people have posted. It helped a lot.

14)      I’m thankful that we will be spending Thanksgiving with family. Over the past 6 years, with us living wherever the Army sent us, one of my sisters and her family living in NC, one of Justin’s brothers living in WV for a while, it’s been hard getting everyone in town at the same time for holidays, so when we’re together, it’s always special. One of my sisters had a baby this year, and Thanksgiving will be the first time Corey and all of his cousins will be at the same place at the same time. My mom is going to be loving life having all 5 grandkids together. We will have a busy Thanksgiving and will be completely stuffed by the end of the day with having lunch with my family and supper with Justin’s family, but I’m so thankful that our families live close enough that we don’t have to choose where to go on a holiday…we can go to both.

Christmas - a time for giving

Christmas will be here before we know it (no, I’m not skipping over Thanksgiving), and a lot of times near Christmas, people look for different charities to donate to. I’ve learned over the past 17 months that non-profits are not created equally. I’m not going to name names, but many “non-profits” have high paid CEOs and have a lot of the money donated go toward overhead costs and advertising. I can’t speak for other causes, but I can tell you which non-profits do the most to actually help wounded veterans. Right now some of them have special projects going on for the Christmas season to help families of wounded vets. This is by no means a full list of all the wonderful non-profits who do so much good, but here are a handful of once that have personally helped us or friends of ours. These are in no particular order, and I'm telling you about them, not to help our family personally, but to help the many other families of wounded warriors.

Semper Fi Fund/America’s Fund https://semperfifund.org/match/

Every weekday, rain or shine, people from this organization go from room to room on the inpatient ward making sure that needs are met, not only for the wounded service member, but also his/her family and friends who are there to visit. They do special outings to boost morale of caregivers. They help with the purchase of vehicles to be adapted and purchase all-terrain wheelchairs to assist with mobility for outdoor type sports. They help with expenses for moving, house needs, travel expenses, and so much more. Right now through the end of the year, every dollar donated will be matched by the Bob and Renee Parsons Foundation.

Operation Ward 57 http://www.operationward57.org/holiday2014/

Ward 57 was the inpatient wounded warrior floor at the old Walter Reed before it was combined with the Navy hospital in Bethesda. They do a lot to make sure needs are met for both the inpatient and outpatient residents at Walter Reed (and other places). They’ve collect everything from back massagers to waffle makes and whole lot more. They also do a lot to bring attention and educated on some of the emotional and mental issues that many service members face. They have someone who will answer their phone 24/7 if they need to talk or get advice, not for recognition, but because they truly care and want to help. Right now they have a program where they match sponsors with wounded warrior families to help the WW families have a better Christmas.

Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing http://www.projecthealingwaters.org/

This organization has been a huge help to Justin. He loves to be outdoors, and they have provided him with a way to be outdoors and get back into one of his favorite hobbies. But it’s not just about the fishing. A group of their volunteers comes out to Walter Reed (and other military hospitals and VA hospitals and clinics all over the country) weekly to teach fly tying and casting, but while doing that, they build relationships with the wounded vets and their families. They teach fly fishing and boost morale and are an overall encouragement while doing it.

Heroes Haven http://heroeshaven.org/

This is a smaller non-profit run through a local American Legion post on the eastern shore of Maryland. Even though their reach isn’t as big as other groups, the impact they make on those who they reach is huge. They got Justin out hunting for the first time post-injury and made us part of their community. They gave us a home away from home when we needed to get away from the hospital and have become part of our family’s support system.

Luke’s Wings http://www.lukeswings.org/

We personally have not flown using the Luke’s Wings program because when we travel, we typically have driven for various reasons, but many of my friends have benefitted greatly from this awesome program. They recognize the need to reunite wounded warriors with their family and friends. If you are a frequent flier and have extra miles, you can donate them. Now through the end of November, for every Delta mile donated, Delta will match the donation. All these miles will be used to help wounded warriors be with their families for Christmas.

Gary Sinise Foundation http://www.garysinisefoundation.org/

Many of you have probably seen the movie Forrest Gump. One of the characters in the movie was Lt. Dan, played by Gary Sinise (also known for playing the part of Mac Taylor on CSI: NY). The Lt. Dan character was injured in Vietnam and lost both legs, and while researching the part, Gary Sinise felt moved to start helping wounded veterans by starting the Gary Sinise Foundation and to start up a cover band called the Lt. Dan Band that would tour military bases and hospitals around the world to boost morale. Now that CSI: NY has run its course, he is working full time in his work helping service members and veterans. Recently, his foundation gave a “smart house” that is fully adapted to help one of our Walter Reed friends (one of only a handful of quadruple amputees who survived). He may not have served in the military (in real life), but he has done so much to serve those who have served/are serving.

Yellow Ribbon Fund http://www.yellowribbonfund.org/

When a service member is injured, the military will pay for 3 family members to be by their side while they are inpatient initially. The Yellow Ribbon Fund helps with lodging for additional family members to come visit for a few days, whether the person is inpatient or outpatient. They help with caregiver resources and retreats. They provided a much needed playground next to the wounded warrior living residence on the hospital complex. They help with rental cars and taxi vouchers to help with transportation (since many of us flew up to the area and were without personal transportation for a while). Many of their volunteers are caregivers themselves, so they have a firsthand knowledge of the needs of caregivers.

The Independence Fund http://www.independencefund.org/

One of the most popular things this organization does is give all-terrain wheelchairs to wounded veterans. These are a huge help to people with limited mobility to enjoy hobbies that they wouldn’t be able to access in a normal wheelchair. The Indy Fund also teams up with other organizations to help with transportation and housing needs for wounded veterans. They’ve provided hand bikes for wounded vets without legs or with leg problems who are unable to use a traditional bicycles (for some these hand bikes are the main form of exercise that these men and women are able to physically do to stay healthy).

The Space Coast Paratroopers Association https://www.facebook.com/SpaceCoastParatroopersAssociation

For those in central Florida, this organization is teaming up with the city of Palm Bay to provide (adapted if needed) homes to wounded veterans. These houses are foreclosures and need a bit of work to spruce them up and adapt if needed. A lot of the work is done by volunteers or businesses volunteering their skills, and a lot of the materials are donated. Even if you can’t afford to purchase materials or give money, the gift of time in helping fix up these house is greatly appreciated. They post on their Facebook page where/when the volunteer opportunities are. If nothing else, check out and “like” their page so you can see the awesome job their doing and watch the transformations of these houses.

Treats 4 Our Troops https://www.facebook.com/notes/treats-4-our-troops/t4ot-official-holiday-collection-and-packing-guidelines-revised-september-2014/10150099961180620?fref=nf

Do you have any extra candy from Halloween that you don’t want to rot your children’s’ teeth? This organization will help you send it to troops who are deployed or to wounded warriors who are inpatient at Walter Reed. Check out their page for more information.

Amazon Smile http://smile.amazon.com/gp/charity/pd.html/ref=smi_se_saas_pd_pd

If you’re like my family and like the ease of online shopping, you probably have ordered from Amazon. They started a program Amazon Smile where you can sign up (for free) and for every dollar you spend, they donate (at no extra cost to you) .5% to the charity of your choice. Yeah, .5% isn’t a lot – 50 cents for every $100 spent, but it adds up and it requires no effort or cost to you, so why not sign up? Many of the non-profits I’ve already talked about are registered in this program and they can benefit from shopping that you were already planning on doing. Once you pick an organization, you can change it whenever, and however many times you want, so if you want to support one organization for 6 months, and then switch it up, you can. There are so many wonderful organizations to choose from that it’s difficult to choose just one.

Thanksgiving - part 1

Wow…it’s November already. In many ways this year has flown by, but in other ways it’s gone very slowly. I love the month of November (especially when I get to spend it in Florida where the weather is typically quite nice). November is the month my favorite little guy that is growing up so fast was born. Thanksgiving is also in November and because of that, my Facebook wall is often sprinkled with daily mentions of what my friends are thankful for. I’m not too good at remembering to do things every day, so I usually do one big list of 30 things I’m thankful for at the end of the month. I think this year I’ll do a weekly blog with one week’s worth of thankfulness. I have so much to be thankful for this year…not that I didn’t previous years, but this year has some pretty big ones that have already happened and are about to happen. These are in no particular order of importance…just what pops into my head.

1)      I’m thankful for God who created me and saved me. I’m thankful for all the lessons he’s taught me and that He’s never let me go. I’m thankful that He brought us through the last 17 months and has given us His strength when we were weak and struggling. He’s blessed us more than we deserve and has given us friends and family who have made our journey easier than it could have been.

2)      I’m thankful for my husband and son. The three of us have been through a lot together, both good and bad. We’ve lived in a foreign country, we’ve lived in various states, and we’re finally getting to settle down and put down permanent roots together. We’ve been through multiple deployments together – Justin being the one deployed, and Corey and me being the ones at home waiting for him to come back to us. We’ve spent over a year at Walter Reed together celebrating the victories, and being there for each other through the struggles.

3)      I’m thankful for the friendships that God has blessed me with over the past 30 years. I have friends that I’ve known literally all my life, others that I’ve met just in the last few years, and everything in between. I’ve found that God brings some friends into my life for a short time and some to teach me lessons. My favorites are the ones that due to circumstances, we may come in and out of each other’s lives, but time and distance don’t hurt the friendship. We just pick up where we left off and the time we do get to spend together is all the much sweeter. With some of the more surface level friends, after being apart, there’s awkward small talk and not sure how the friendship stands, but with others, you just hug and catch up on everything that’s happened since you last saw each other or talked. It’s like no time has passed. They often become like family. I’m blessed to have quite a few of this kind of friends.

4)      I’m thankful for my family. I love my family, and they’ve been there for me in for ways than I can begin to tell especially over the last year and a half. My mom and sisters are three of my closest friends. If I had to pick a shopping buddy, they’d be at the top of my list. My dad is always there to help when I need it and always has good advice. He’s checked a lot of things off of my “daddy-do list” to get our house ready for us to live in. Both of my parents were in the delivery room when Corey was born, and they’ve done so much to help with him since then…especially over the past year and a half. I’m thankful for the 18 years I got to spend with my Grams and that I still can spend time with my other grandparents. I’m thankful for my niece and nephews who I enjoy spending time with, and I’m thankful that they’re close in age to my son so that they can grow up together. I’m thankful for my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I’m thankful for the people who have become my family through marriage.

5)      I’m thankful for my house. I’m sitting in my living room right now, looking around and it still doesn’t feel quite real. We were given this beautiful house that is close to family and friends, but after moving every couple years and having to live away from our hometown, it’s almost unreal to think that we won’t have to move again. That we won’t be waiting on Army orders telling us where to go. This is our home now, and we’re blessed to have our home in our hometown.

6)      I’m thankful for the people who have been kind and befriended my son. As a parent, it makes my heart happy seeing people show kindness to my son, when they make him feel special. The past year and a half has been hard on Corey. In some ways, he’s had to grow up faster dealing with Justin’s injuries. We’ve had to drag him to more appointments that I can remember, and he was expected to sit still and behave. He’s been alongside Justin for his physical and occupational therapies. He hasn’t handled it all perfectly, but overall, he’s done very well. At Walter Reed, he didn’t know a lot of kids his age, so most of the people he called his friends were old enough to be his parents or grandparents. He would pick flowers (actually weeds, but he thought they were beautiful) for the female physical/occupational therapists, have Nerf wars with our neighbors across the hall, wrestle with some of Justin’s buddies, have sword fights with inflatable swords, and so much more. Corey’s the kind of kid who little things mean a lot to him. Yes, he likes getting toys, and if asked he’ll tell you he’d prefer toys (as would most kids his age), but in reality, it’s the time spent with him that matters the most. People who take the time to talk to him and play with him. He’s had a lot of people take an interest in his life and when he had to say his good-byes, he had a hard time. We ended up making a couple calls so that he could talk to his (adult) friends to help him feel better. I’m thankful that these friends didn’t mind answering their phones to talk to a 4 year old. It meant a lot to him. Or all the times we’ve gone out to Sharptown, MD, and everyone welcomes Corey with open arms and they always have juice boxes stocked up for him. And the people in Florida who are always happy to see Corey the times that we’ve visited and were so excited when they heard that he would be home for good now. It means a lot to me to know how many people care about him.

7)      I’m thankful for my church families. I was sitting in the pew at the church that I grew up in, that I’m excited to be regularly attending again, and I saw a lot of familiar faces and a lot of new faces, but one thing that hasn’t changed is that those faces are very diverse. There were young people and elderly, people of all races, and from all kinds of backgrounds. There were people in wheelchairs, people walking using prosthetics (one of the two being Justin), and people walking around on their God-given legs. There were people raised in church from the time they were born, and others who came from rough upbringings who have fought addictions. And that’s exactly how I like it. Heaven will be full of people who are all different who have lived through very different experiences. I’ve never agreed with churches who exclude people based on skin color or any other thing that might make someone different. We were all created by God, and we all have the same opportunity to accept His gift of salvation, and in that, we’re all the same where it counts. Diversity can be a beautiful thing if we don’t let it divide us. I’m thankful that every church I’ve regularly attended has had that beautiful diversity and attitude. I’m thankful for my home church and our church family in GA who have prayed for us and encouraged us over the past year and a half. I’m thankful that every time we’re there, we are welcomed with open arms. I’m thankful that regardless of the fact that I’ve been away for most of the past nearly 6 years due to Justin being in the Army, when I’m at my home church, I feel like I never left. I’ve known some of the people there since I was born, many since I was 5 or 6 years old, and others I’ve met along the way. They’re my church family…not perfect, but forgiven, just like me.

Heroes Haven 2014

From Wednesday to Sunday, our family was privileged to be a part of the 2014 Heroes Haven event. We were a part of this event last year as well. Both guys that participated with Justin last year were back again this year too. For me, this year was a lot different than last year. Last year when we arrived, everyone was a complete stranger to us. We had no idea what to expect. With the event last October and the many times we’ve visited over the past year, this time it was like coming home, and we brought friends with us. Justin was able to link up a couple of his Walter Reed buddies with Heroes Haven, and we were excited to have them come and enjoy themselves as much as we did last year.

Unlike last year, we didn’t have to cut through red tape to go on the trip (not having an IV line in Justin’s shoulder helped), we were able to get there in time for Justin to shoot at the gun range. The new guys all sighted in their weapons that they would use for the hunts. Justin assisted since muzzle loaders can be tricky. Then the guy from a local gun manufacturer brought out some guns (with lots of ammo) for the guys to try out. A few of the guys even tested them out at the 500 yard range (and hit the target). After they finished at that part of the range, they moved over to the skeet shooting area and continued having a great time. It rained off and on while we were at the range, but the rain didn’t put a damper on everyone having a good time. Corey was glad it rained because he got to try out his new rain boots by splashing in the puddles. There was no lightning, so I didn’t even bother trying to keep him dry…it would have been a pointless endeavor. lol Due to the rain, there weren’t as many motorcycles out to escort us to the American Legion post, but there were a few who were out in rain gear.

While the guys were out hunting on Thursday, Corey and I got to go toy shopping. The couple who are in charge of the local Toys for Tots asked us to join them to pick out toys for the program. We were given some very basic guidelines and went at it. Corey was a big help in being our toy expert. I had explained to him the night before about Toys for Tots and he was so excited to pick out toys that he just knew the boys and girls would love. We ended up filling 5 shopping carts full of toys. Thankfully the store wasn’t busy at the time because it took us a while to checkout at the end.

On Friday morning, Justin shot a couple Sika deer, so that evening, he decided to take Corey out in the deer stand with him. Corey was so excited to go hunting with his daddy. He had his little binoculars and Justin’s deer call, wore his camouflage clothes, and even had on camo face paint. Justin texted me a few pictures from the stand. The first was of Corey all excited and ready to hunt, the second was of him laying down on the floor of the stand and using Justin’s backpack as a pillow, and the third was of Corey fast asleep. Like father, like son. Justin’s been known to sleep in the stand a time or two.

Saturday night was the banquet. Looking around the room, you could see that, like our family and the other two guys last year, the new guys had shifted from strangers just meeting everyone on Wednesday evening to part of the community by Saturday evening. Everyone was talking and laughing like old friends. Yes, the main draw to the event is the hunting, but it’s the hospitality and friendships formed that has kept us coming back to Sharptown, and I have a feeling that the new guys will be back before long.

all of the veterans who were at the banquet

Justin, Robert, and Kyle - the Walter Reed guys

Ladies Night Out - a Much Needed Break for Caregivers

When Justin deployed the first time, we were engaged. I was in my hometown and surrounded by friends, but sometimes I felt very alone because none of the people I was regularly around really understood what I was going through. Some very sweet, well-meaning people said some things that really bothered me at times. I knew they didn’t mean any harm, but it just showed how clueless they were. I still love them and am thankful for the friendships and the support they’ve shown me over the years. Just because they didn’t really understand doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. They probably went through plenty of things that I had no clue about.

During Justin’s second deployment, I was scared. I knew I would be in a foreign country raising a baby on my own. Once the soldiers deployed, I formed a close bond with some of the other wives. We were going through the same (or similar) circumstances and understood each other. We helped each other get through a year without our husbands. I missed my friends and family back home, but my Army wife friends became like family to me. It was very different from the first deployment, but I learned so much from both.

As you probably know by now, Justin’s third deployment was nothing like I expected it to be. I had the best of both worlds for this one. I lived close enough to family that I could visit often. I also had Army wife friends nearby (though not quite the walking distance close as in Germany). This was our third time around, and I figured it would be similar to the other two, except shorter. Little did I know how much shorter it would end up being. Now I find myself in a very different, strange situation. With three deployments and after meeting quite a few soldiers and their families, I had never been friends and had never met anyone who was seriously injured in combat. Since Justin was injured, I’ve had to learn a new language (medical terms specific to amputees and various medication) and a new set of skills with caring for Justin and his increased needs. Seriously, the military needs to get with it. I deserve some sort of certificate for all my new knowledge and skills. Lol I’ve even given injections (much to Justin’s dismay).

I say all that as to background for the main point of this post. A couple nights ago, I attended my third ladies night out sponsored by the America’s Fund/Semper Fi Fund. Some of the wonderful ladies involved in this organization come over to Walter Reed, pick us up, drive us to the restaurant, treat us to a relaxing evening of food and fun, and then return us to Walter Reed. It’s more than just a dinner though. It’s a chance to connect with ladies who are going through similar circumstances. It’s hard to socialize during the week with appointments and in many cases, caring for both a spouse and kid(s) (or if the caregiver is a mother, their son/daughter and possibly grandkid), and weekends are hit and miss as well. These nights out are rare opportunities for the spouses, mothers, sisters, friends, etc. who have dropped everything to care for a loved one to leave the responsibilities and stresses behind and just be ourselves. We swap stories and understand the emotions that came when we got that call saying that our loved one was injured in ways that I pray that other people I know will never understand firsthand. At my table this time, there was one mother whose son was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident (other driver was at fault), a woman who is here to help her sister-in-law, and two of us who are here to help our husbands recover while raising a child. Every woman in the room had a story as to what events brought them here, but all of us are here because we love someone who needs our help. Some are due to injury and others have various medical conditions that need someone to help around the house and with appointments. All are here because they care for someone in the military even if the person wasn’t combat wounded. So many of the organizations and events are specifically for the service member with family as an add on. It’s really nice and means a lot to have a night specifically to address a real need for caregivers – a break. I love my husband and son with all my heart, but sometimes I need some time away from them and that’s hard to do in a tiny little apartment around each other all day every day. I always get back from these events feeling refreshed, very full from the delicious food, and excited for the next one. I spent the evening laughing and enjoying great company. Some of the conversations are serious as our situations are serious, but far more laughs through the course of the night. I probably speak for all the ladies who attend these dinners in saying that the night goes by way too quickly and we always hate to see it come to an end.

Ladies night out is just one of the many ways that the America’s Fund/Semper Fi Fund step up to help not just the injured service members, but their families as well. (Semper Fi Fund is the main program to help injured Marines, and more recently they started a sub-program called the America’s Fund to help all service members regardless of the branch.) They helped us buy a truck to be adapted so that Justin could drive it with hand controls (our other vehicles have over 100,000 miles, so we needed something reliable that would last to help Justin). They’ve helped with expenses for various family members come up to visit which has been a huge help to us when Justin’s had to be inpatient and we needed help with Corey. Someone from their organization is at the hospital every day during the week visiting the rooms of the ones that are inpatient to encourage them and make sure their needs and the needs of their families are met, and that doesn’t stop when they are discharged. They cheer with us when good things happen, when goals are achieved, and they encourage us when there are setbacks. If I were asked to name the non-profits that have helped us the most over the past year (not just financially, but the whole picture), the America’s Fund would be in the top 3…and those top 3 are in a three way tie. Each has helped us in very different ways and it would be difficult to rate them because they’re all so awesome. I will always be grateful for these organizations and the people that take a hands-on approach to helping our nation’s wounded veterans. I pray that these awesome people in these organizations are blessed for the many ways they have been a blessing to my family and other families at Walter Reed and other military medical facilities all over the country.

Kindness, Encouragement, and Fudge

Have you ever had one of those days (or one of those weeks) where it seems like everything is going wrong? The kids are acting up and the smallest things just seem to get to you. Then you go out to the mailbox to find a surprise card from a friend just saying they’re thinking about you. Or maybe it’s a kind message in your inbox or a telephone call. Whatever the method, sometimes just that little something is what you needed to help turn your day around.

Over the past year, my family and I have been the recipient of a lot of love and encouragement from friends, family, non-profit organizations, and even strangers. Dealing with everything on my plate can get discouraging at times. The light at the end of this tunnel has seemed so far away that I could barely see it. I’ve cried many tears, but not all of them have been of frustration or sadness. Some of those tears have been tears of joy and tears that come from a heart that is overwhelmed by the kindness shown to us. Sometimes it’s something small but special like a handmade card from my great-aunt who I haven’t seen in many years. Other things are big and a bit overwhelming like being given a house or being given assistance from a non-profit to help us purchase the truck Justin’s always dreamed of having. Sometimes it’s going out to eat (usually at Cracker Barrel when this happens) and asking for the check only to find that another person there, or sometimes the serving staff, has already paid our bill. Other time it’s just a note in my inbox telling me that a friend or even someone I’ve never met has been praying for us every day. Sometimes it’s a postcard or package in the mail for Corey because they care about him and want to encourage him as the past year has been difficult for him too. Few things warm a mother’s heart like someone doing something nice for her child. Those are just a handful of ways we’ve been shown kindness over the past year. It would take me hours to tell of every act of kindness that has come our way, but each one has been appreciated.

Thinking about the kindness we’ve received made me think about how I have (or haven’t) shown kindness to others. Like most people, I’ve got plenty of room for improvement. I’m not always as gracious as I should be. I don’t always go out of my way to help others when I can. I do try though. I won’t list all the ways that I show kindness because I don’t do it for recognition or for show. I truly do enjoy helping people for the most part. I like knowing that something I did put a smile on someone’s face. I enjoy showing appreciation to people who deserve it. I will say that if the author of the “5 Love Languages” book decides to update his book to add chocolate as a 6^th language, that will definitely be my primary both for giving and receiving. Lol Ever since I learned how to make homemade fudge, it has been my go-to gift. Whether it’s a Christmas present, thank you gift, get well, cheer up, congrats, or just because, fudge can fit the occasion (for those who don’t have health issues preventing them from eating fudge anyway). It’s not a big thing and doesn’t cost that much. The effort on my part to make it isn’t all that much either, but sometimes people just need a little pick-me-up and I know that if someone were to give me fudge (or any sort of chocolate), they’d be my best friend forever. And really, sometimes it isn’t what you do or give, but it’s the fact that you cared enough to want to do something for someone that can really make a difference.

I say all that not to say “hey, maybe you should send Beth some chocolate” or “send Beth a nice message” (though those are always appreciate), but to encourage you to encourage others. Be kind to those around you. You never know how much your smile, your act of kindness, or your words will mean to someone. If you know a new mother, don’t ask her to call you if she needs anything because unless you’re family or a friend who’s like family, she probably won’t. Ask if you can do something specific like bring her a meal. Send a gift card for a pizza place so she can have the option when she needs a break. Put yourself in the person’s shoes and think of what would be the most helpful or mean the most to you if you were in their situation. And most importantly, pray for each other. My son asked me to take a picture of him and put it as the background on my computer. I told him that I wanted to keep my background the same as it already is – a picture of Justin and his platoon that was taken a month or two before he was injured. Why this picture? Partially because it reminds me of a time when our life was still normal (well, as normal as a military family with one part of the family deployed could be anyway). The bigger part is because seeing the picture of the guys in his platoon reminds me to pray for them. Those are the men who are responsible for Justin still being alive today, and I often pray that God will bless them and their families. I pray that they aren’t haunted by what happened on the mountain on June 9^th, but that they’re encouraged by how great Justin has done since that day and to know that they played a role in that by getting him safely down the mountain.

My challenge to you is to find someone in your circle of friends and family who needs some encouragement and do something nice to help put a smile back on their face. Also, put them on your prayer list (if you pray) and ask God to help them through whatever situation they’re going through. There’s so much negative in the world today, and it’s nice to see people being that ray of much needed sunshine to those around them.

(16.5 lb of fudge said "thank you", "cheer up", and "thinking of you" all at the same time...and sadly, that's an old picture. I don't currently have that much fudge in my fridge lol)

My thoughts on September 11th

Today is September 11^th. It’s been 13 years since hijackers flew planes into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. 13 years since some brave passengers overtook the hijackers in a 4^th plane and caused it to crash into a field rather than a building. America was wondering if there were any more attacks coming. President George W. Bush had some tough decisions to make as to how to make our country more secure so that something like this would never happen again and as to what our country’s reaction would be. It wasn’t long before war was declared on al-Qaeda and we had boots on the ground in Afghanistan. Since September 11, 2001, there have been no attacks on our soil by foreign terrorists. Right now our country faces additional threats from ISIS and an unsecure border between the United States and Mexico.

A big part in why our country hasn’t been attacked is because of our military. We’ve lost many brave men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan. We’ve had many injured. They stepped up did what so many are unwilling or unable to do – they have defended our country. Most came back alive and uninjured, but none of them came back the same as they left. Many left as boys/girls (yes, 18-19 years old may be an adult, but it far from having reached maturity) and came back as men/women. They made sacrifices, and the majority that I know would do it again and have volunteered for multiple deployments. Even knowing what he knows now and having been injured seriously, my husband would go back in a heartbeat if he could.

I read an article yesterday about an Army Lt. Colonel who was trying to meet with someone at his daughter’s school. He happened to be wearing his uniform (not unusual since it was during the week and he likely had to head back into work as soon as the meeting was concluded), and the security guard would not allow him to enter the school due to the uniform because another student might find it offensive. Offensive? I’m offended that such a statement would be made. According to the reports I’ve read, this was not the school district’s policy and it is being dealt with and that the school’s superintendent apologized personally for the incident. But still, it boggles my mind how someone who lives in this country, who enjoys the freedoms that come with being a citizen of the United States can be offended by our flag or by the uniform of someone who serves our country and has promised to defend it, and in turn, us. Their service has protected the freedom of people like that to spout off whatever they please. I was reading the comments on Facebook on one article about this incident and most were appalled that such a thing would happen. One in particular stood out to me.

Victims? I know plenty of active duty service members and veterans. I know many who have been wounded in combat. Funny, but I don’t know any victims. I don’t know any veterans who go around trying to get people to feel sorry for them…certainly none at Walter Reed. These men and women don’t want pity, but they do deserve respect. I would guess that most of the people in the military now joined the military after September 11, 2001, so they knew that they would most likely be deployed. They knew what they were getting into, yet they still decided to serve our country. They knew that they would make sacrifices in their service and they still did it. In order for our country to be safe, we need a military and we need local law officers and emergency personnel. Someone has to do it. Men and women, like my husband, chose to be that someone. They don’t ask for pity, they don’t consider themselves to be victims, and they don’t ask for special treatment. They don’t even ask for respect, even though they deserve it. What they do have is pride. They are proud of their service to our country. They are proud to display the flag that they fought to defend. I think our country could use a little more pride in country. I don’t always like the direction our leaders take our country, but you’ll never hear me say that I’m not proud to be an American. I’m proud to have a flag waving in the breeze at our house. I’m proud of our military. They are willing to step up and serve even though politicians are always trying to cut their pay and take away their earned benefits. I’m proud of the faithful military spouses and the military children who do their part to support their loved one in his/her service. I’m proud of the caregivers who support their wounded service members. I think “Jimmy” needs an education on what it means to be an American and how much his life is better because of the men and women who serve. (*edit* in the time it took me to finish up this blog and post it, "Jimmy" or someone with admin for the posting page deleted his comments. Such ignorance should be deleted both from online and from the attitudes of people in our country.)

God bless America, God bless our military, and please, Lord, protect us from those who wish to do us harm.