When I was a teenager, my Grams was diagnosed with breast
cancer. We prayed and trusted God and were thankful when her cancer went into
remission. Then her cancer came back and spread to her lungs. This time God
answered our prayers for healing with “no”. She passed away just after
Thanksgiving when I was 18. I knew that she was happy and healthy in Heaven,
but I wasn’t ready for her to leave us on earth. Her death, along with a few
other things I prayed for that received responses other than the way I wanted
caused me to doubt. I didn’t doubt God. I doubted myself. I felt like I must
have done something wrong that caused God to answer my prayers with a “no” over
and over. My prayers weren’t selfish. They were requests for other people to be
healed, for relationships to mend, not things for myself. I got to the point
where I was hesitant to pray for fear that whatever I’d done to offend God
would make him answer with a “no” and it would make the person’s situation
worse. I struggled with balancing having faith that God could work miracles and
doubting that He would. I never lost my faith, but I had a lot that I had to
work through.
Since then, I’ve matured a lot spiritually and
emotionally. I’ve learned a lot about God. I’ve learned that He is always
faithful even when my faith has struggles. I’ve learned that the answers to my
prayers are not dependent on how much faith I do or don’t have. Some things
just aren’t in God’s perfect plan. Just look at the Bible. Is there any person
in the Bible or since the Bible was written who has had more faith than Jesus?
In Luke 22:42, Jesus said, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from
me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Jesus prayed and asked God
that if it were possible that He wouldn’t have to suffer and die. God answered
with a “no”. Jesus asked for a specific thing and it didn’t happen. Did God
hear the prayer of his Son? Absolutely. Was Jesus’ request part of God’s
ultimate plan? No. Was Jesus’ faith or lack of faith the reason for the “no”?
No, it wasn’t. Jesus had to die on the cross so that we might be saved. There
was no other way. It had nothing to do with Jesus having a lack of faith and
everything to do with God’s plan. When the disciples asked Jesus how they
should pray, He warned them not to be like the religious leaders of their day
who would stand around and pray loudly, not to God, but to attract attention to
themselves. He also told them not to chant over and over the same things like
the heathens. He told them in Matthew 6:9-10, “After this manner therefore pray
ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy
will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” Once again, Jesus is saying that an
important part of prayer isn’t just making a request, but submitting to or
accepting God’s will in the situation. I Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without
ceasing.” That doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be constantly asking God for
things. Prayer is talking to God. As in any relationship, communication is
important for a relationship to grow. In the relationship, if one person only
talks to the other to ask for favors, the relationship will likely not last
long. Thankfully God is a lot more longsuffering with us. In my opinion,
praying without ceasing is more of a flowing conversation with God. It doesn’t
have your normal “Dear Lord” beginning and “In Jesus’ name, Amen” ending. It’s
me throughout the day sharing my thoughts of gratitude, hurt, love, joy, and
anything else that’s in my heart with God. Sometimes I have specific requests,
sometimes it’s asking for clarity on situations, and other times it’s asking
for peace in accepting God’s will above my own. Sometimes down the road, I can
look back at a situation where God answered “no” and see why and it makes
sense. Other times, I still struggle to make sense of things. Sometimes God uses
a “no” to bring us to a place we wouldn’t have been if we’d gotten the answer
we wanted and to cross paths with people who we wouldn’t have met if we’d had
our way. Sometimes He uses the “no” to help us grow and other times He may use
it to help someone else.
The Bible is full of examples of people who had more
faith than I could ever imagine and they received the answers “no” and “not
yet”. Why should I be any different? It’s not easy having the opposite of what
I’d prayed for happen. It often hurts, especially when the prayer is for
healing of a loved one.
Yesterday in church. My brother-in-law, Matt, gave the
lesson for my Sunday school class. He taught about Gideon. Gideon was a judge
in the days before the people of Israel had kings. Gideon didn’t consider
himself to be important, and when he was called to be a judge, he was hiding
behind a well from the Midianites. Gideon had many doubts, yet he was mentioned
in Hebrews 11 (also known as the “Hall of Faith” chapter) for his faith. He
asked God for multiple signs to prove that what God said was really supposed to
happen. He had doubts, but he received mention for his faith. That’s really
awesome that God used his doubts to strengthen his faith in the end. Here’s the
main points Matt listed regarding Gideon’s doubts (Matt read Judges 6-7 for the
lesson).
1.
Gideon doubts God – (what have you done for me
lately; evil in the world)
2.
Gideon doubts his calling – (who am I mindset;
what can I do?)
3.
Gideon doubts God’s sovereignty – (Can you
really do this; sometimes we take things into our own hands)
4.
Gideon doubts the very words of God – (Will you
really use me?; seeks verification)
5.
Others doubt/Were willing but didn’t truly
believe – (I ate Justin’s turkey without thinking it safe or edible)
6.
Gideon gets distracted – (Circumstances caused
doubt; things look too impossible, past failures)
I’m so thankful that the Bible doesn’t just tell about
how people got things right, but also about their doubts and struggles. Not
because misery loves company and I like to read about other people’s failure so
I feel better about myself, but because it shows how people who struggle like I
do can be used to do amazing things for God. No, God won’t always show us signs
like keeping dew off the ground while soaking a fleece and keeping a fleece dry
while the ground was soaked with dew to prove His plan will happen, but He
still directs our paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine
heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge
him, and he shall direct thy paths.” God uses imperfect people like Gideon,
like me, and like you to accomplish his perfect plan. That’s amazing. That’s
God’s grace and mercy.
