When Justin deployed the first time, we were engaged. I
was in my hometown and surrounded by friends, but sometimes I felt very alone
because none of the people I was regularly around really understood what I was
going through. Some very sweet, well-meaning people said some things that
really bothered me at times. I knew they didn’t mean any harm, but it just showed
how clueless they were. I still love them and am thankful for the friendships
and the support they’ve shown me over the years. Just because they didn’t
really understand doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. They probably went
through plenty of things that I had no clue about.
During Justin’s second deployment, I was scared. I knew I
would be in a foreign country raising a baby on my own. Once the soldiers
deployed, I formed a close bond with some of the other wives. We were going
through the same (or similar) circumstances and understood each other. We
helped each other get through a year without our husbands. I missed my friends
and family back home, but my Army wife friends became like family to me. It was
very different from the first deployment, but I learned so much from both.
As you probably know by now, Justin’s third deployment
was nothing like I expected it to be. I had the best of both worlds for this
one. I lived close enough to family that I could visit often. I also had Army
wife friends nearby (though not quite the walking distance close as in Germany).
This was our third time around, and I figured it would be similar to the other
two, except shorter. Little did I know how much shorter it would end up being.
Now I find myself in a very different, strange situation. With three
deployments and after meeting quite a few soldiers and their families, I had
never been friends and had never met anyone who was seriously injured in
combat. Since Justin was injured, I’ve had to learn a new language (medical
terms specific to amputees and various medication) and a new set of skills with
caring for Justin and his increased needs. Seriously, the military needs to get
with it. I deserve some sort of certificate for all my new knowledge and
skills. Lol I’ve even given injections (much to Justin’s dismay).
I say all that as to background for the main point of
this post. A couple nights ago, I attended my third ladies night out sponsored
by the America’s Fund/Semper Fi Fund. Some of the wonderful ladies involved in
this organization come over to Walter Reed, pick us up, drive us to the
restaurant, treat us to a relaxing evening of food and fun, and then return us
to Walter Reed. It’s more than just a dinner though. It’s a chance to connect
with ladies who are going through similar circumstances. It’s hard to socialize
during the week with appointments and in many cases, caring for both a spouse
and kid(s) (or if the caregiver is a mother, their son/daughter and possibly
grandkid), and weekends are hit and miss as well. These nights out are rare
opportunities for the spouses, mothers, sisters, friends, etc. who have dropped
everything to care for a loved one to leave the responsibilities and stresses
behind and just be ourselves. We swap stories and understand the emotions that
came when we got that call saying that our loved one was injured in ways that I
pray that other people I know will never understand firsthand. At my table this
time, there was one mother whose son was seriously injured in a motorcycle
accident (other driver was at fault), a woman who is here to help her
sister-in-law, and two of us who are here to help our husbands recover while
raising a child. Every woman in the room had a story as to what events brought
them here, but all of us are here because we love someone who needs our help.
Some are due to injury and others have various medical conditions that need
someone to help around the house and with appointments. All are here because
they care for someone in the military even if the person wasn’t combat wounded.
So many of the organizations and events are specifically for the service member
with family as an add on. It’s really nice and means a lot to have a night
specifically to address a real need for caregivers – a break. I love my husband
and son with all my heart, but sometimes I need some time away from them and
that’s hard to do in a tiny little apartment around each other all day every
day. I always get back from these events feeling refreshed, very full from the
delicious food, and excited for the next one. I spent the evening laughing and enjoying
great company. Some of the conversations are serious as our situations are
serious, but far more laughs through the course of the night. I probably speak
for all the ladies who attend these dinners in saying that the night goes by
way too quickly and we always hate to see it come to an end.
Ladies night out is just one of the many ways that the
America’s Fund/Semper Fi Fund step up to help not just the injured service members,
but their families as well. (Semper Fi Fund is the main program to help injured
Marines, and more recently they started a sub-program called the America’s Fund
to help all service members regardless of the branch.) They helped us buy a
truck to be adapted so that Justin could drive it with hand controls (our other
vehicles have over 100,000 miles, so we needed something reliable that would
last to help Justin). They’ve helped with expenses for various family members
come up to visit which has been a huge help to us when Justin’s had to be
inpatient and we needed help with Corey. Someone from their organization is at
the hospital every day during the week visiting the rooms of the ones that are
inpatient to encourage them and make sure their needs and the needs of their
families are met, and that doesn’t stop when they are discharged. They cheer
with us when good things happen, when goals are achieved, and they encourage us
when there are setbacks. If I were asked to name the non-profits that have
helped us the most over the past year (not just financially, but the whole
picture), the America’s Fund would be in the top 3…and those top 3 are in a
three way tie. Each has helped us in very different ways and it would be
difficult to rate them because they’re all so awesome. I will always be
grateful for these organizations and the people that take a hands-on approach
to helping our nation’s wounded veterans. I pray that these awesome people in
these organizations are blessed for the many ways they have been a blessing to
my family and other families at Walter Reed and other military medical
facilities all over the country.
No comments:
Post a Comment