Love Is...

Earlier this week was Valentine’s Day. It’s a day used to celebrate love – typically love in couples. The problem is that so many times, people are confusing romance with love. At the start of the relationship, everything is new and exciting. The first date, the first kiss, the ring, the wedding, first house together, etc. All of those are great, but what happens after those have passed? What happens when the newness and excitement wears off? That’s often the point where one or both people “fall out of love” and are no longer are “in love”. Maybe one of the people cheats on the other or maybe they just part amicably and move on to the next relationship. Regardless of why or how they part, they’re missing out on so much. If Justin and I had called it quits after the newness of our relationship wore off…I honestly can’t imagine what my life would be like right now. Our life and our marriage aren’t perfect, but there’s nobody else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with. He brings out both the best and the worst in me and still loves me when the worst part is showing. It’s not the big romantic gestures that make what we have so special, it’s the little things that are priceless. Sure, I love getting flowers and going out for a special dinner just as much as the next girl, but those things without love behind them don’t really mean all that much. Our Valentine’s Day this year wasn’t all that romantic, but it was full of love. We didn’t go out to eat at a fancy restaurant…or out to eat at all. We didn’t get each other mushy cards or extravagant gifts. We decided on a joint gift of signing up for the chocolate of the month subscription from a local candy company. I cooked steak on the Foreman grill, heated up a thing of pre-made mashed potatoes in the microwave and cooked Rice-a-roni. It was far from gourmet, but we avoided long wait times and huge crowds and got to enjoy watching a movie together as a family while eating. For dessert, I had an apple turnover that Justin had picked up from Winn Dixie and he and Corey had heart shaped chocolate chip cookies that I got them from Publix. It’s not about what you do to celebrate love, but the moments you spend with the people you love. Those moments are a gift, and you never know how many you’ll have, so make the most of them.

The Bible talks a lot about love in various forms. The most important being God’s love for us. John 3:16 is probably the most well-known verse in the Bible. It says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Romans 5:8 says, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” John 15:13 says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” I don’t think I can say it any better than those three verses already have. How amazing is it that the God who created the universe and everything in it loves us so much that He sacrificed Himself so that we could be saved! God shows His love for us in more ways that I could begin to tell. 1 John 3:1a says, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” God loves me and has called me His child. I have been adopted into the family of God! 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” This verse isn’t just a statement; it’s a promise. I’ve held on tight to this promise especially over the past few years. Psalm 56:3 says, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” During the times I’ve been afraid, I’ve had to make a conscious decisions to trust God to take care of things. It’s not in my nature to be able to let go of that fear. I tend to worry over things that could happen. That fear and worry aren’t from God. He brings me peace when the situations trying. He gives me strength to keep going when everything in me is ready to give up. He gives me love – not just His love, but also helps me to love even when it’s difficult. He gives me a sound mind even when everything around me seems to be going crazy – and believe me, I’ve needed that sound mind more times than I can remember. As a Christian, life isn’t always easy, but knowing I have someone who loves me who can handle the situations helps me take that next step when I feel like I’m about to fall down. Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing at all can keep me from God’s love. What an amazing comfort to have that kind of love!

Another type of love mentioned in the Bible is the love we have for one another. There are so many types of relationships where we can love the other person: spouses, children, parents, siblings, other family members, friends, and church family. Most people in those categories, I find easy to love. Loving my family comes naturally. If I didn’t love my friends, chances are that they wouldn’t be my friends – they’d fall more into the acquaintance category. But what about people who aren’t in those groups? What about the people who treat us poorly? Does God expect us to love them too? Matthew 5:44 says, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Ouch. That’s a tough one. When someone wrongs me or hates me, the last thing I want to do is bless them, and I sure don’t have any loving feelings toward them. The sin nature in my wants to lash out and hurt them in response. And have you tried praying that God will bless someone when everything in you wants to pray that God will punish them for how they treated you? It’s extremely difficult. I’ve been there and struggled with that. I’ve had to pray that God will change my heart and help me to love the person before I was able to get to the point where I could pray for God to bless them…and even then, I still struggle with it sometimes. John 13:34 says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” It doesn’t say to love the people who love you and are nice to you. It says one another which includes everyone, whether they’re easy to love or not.

I Corinthians 13 is often referred to as the “Love Chapter” of the Bible. It talks about many things regarding love. It says how words and actions without love as the motivation aren’t worth much.

I Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love suffers long. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Some traditional marriage vows talk about vowing to remain together for better and worse, good times and bad, sickness and health. Sometimes the hard times will be because of the other person, and other times they are hard times that you have to go through together. I’ve found in my marriage, that having gone through some tough times together, our marriage is stronger than before the tough times. No, it’s not a perfect marriage, but perfection is impossible to attain with two imperfect people. A loving, strong marriage is definitely possible though. Sometimes it’s easy to lose hope when things are tough and when a marriage is strained, but love never gives up on the other person. God never gives up on us no matter how bad we mess things up in our lives. 1 Corinthians 13:13 say, “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Even when we lose faith in someone and hope is hard to find, we can still choose to love the person as God loves us.

Love does not behave rudely and is not selfish. I’ve heard people try to justify bad behavior by saying that they did (fill in the blank with a negative behavior) out of love for the other person. Loving a person doesn’t excuse selfish choices. If a man robbed a bank, and when asked why he did it, replied that he loved his wife and wanted to use the money to buy her a diamond ring. Does that make his actions okay because his motives were out of love? Absolutely not. Loving motives or not, what he did was wrong and selfish. Sure, on the surface, it might look like he was being giving with his stolen money, but for me personally, a gift would mean so much more coming from the hard work of the person I love than him taking what someone else worked hard for and using it to buy the gift. The man choosing not to work hard for the money to buy the gift and choosing to take from someone else is incredibly selfish. Not behaving rudely also applies to how you treat the person you love. Sometimes this one is more difficult because when you’re around someone a lot, it’s easy to get on each other’s nerves and take each other for granted.

Love puts others’ needs before our own. Romans 12:10 says, “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;” The best relationships (of any sort, not just marriage) are the ones where both people are putting the other person’s needs above their own. If there isn’t that balance and one person is giving and giving and the other person is taking and not giving back, it won’t be a healthy relationship. It also doesn’t say to neglect your own needs while putting others first. I’ve learned that sometimes I need a break to refresh my own body and spirit. I can’t love Justin and Corey and take care of their needs like I should if I’m running on empty. Sometimes that “running on empty” is physical, sometimes emotional, and sometimes spiritual. Thankfully my loving Heavenly Father is able to meet all of those needs. Isaiah 40:28-31 says, “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” I am so thankful for that love that gives me strength.

I know I kind of rambled a bit and jumped around a little, but these are some things that have been on my heart. I hope and pray that if you do not know God’s love that you will come to know Him and His love.