10 months and military kids

We’re in the double digits for months now. It’s been a crazy month with some difficult times and some really great times. On March 11, Justin went in for his big skin flap surgery. It was about 12 hours long. When he came out of it, he woke up with a migraine – likely from a combination of anesthesia, no caffeine, and no food. He spent the next couple days in ICU. His lower legs had to remain covered with a heated tent/blanket thing to promote good blood flow. This made him feel overheated and he was pretty miserable for a bit. Once he was back on the 4th floor, they were able to find him a small fan which helped so much. While he was in the hospital his parents, sister, both grandmothers, one of his cousins, his cousin’s son, and one of his brothers came up to visit. He also received a brief visit from President Obama.

 Justin’s surgeon was pleased with how Justin’s leg was doing and released him from the hospital almost 2 weeks after his surgery. The weekend after he was released, we decided to head to Sharptown, MD for a couple days. They were holding a fundraiser for the 2014 Heroes Haven event and we wanted to help out with it. I made some fudge for the cake wheel, and Corey had a blast spinning the wheel. It was fun catching up with our friends and just getting away for a little bit. I hope that the wounded warriors who participate this year are as blessed by both the event and the community as we have been.

 During the next week, all of Justin’s staples were removed. Wound care removed the ones from the right leg (donor site) and the plastic surgeon removed the ones on the left leg. A week after Justin was discharged from the hospital, his convalescent leave was approved…with a start date of the day he was discharged. Awesome how that works, huh? Regardless, we were thankful for the opportunity to get away for a bit. We packed up our bags, loaded up the truck, and headed down to Georgia for a couple days before heading to Florida.

 While we were in Georgia, we went down to the company so that Justin could see his guys. It’s always interesting watching him interact with them and hearing the stories. The new guys that don’t know him look at him with a mix of curiosity, respect and a look that seems to wonder if the stories they’ve heard about crazy Sgt. Burdette are true. Then they see him in action and realize that the stories are probably understatements…he’s likely crazier. The last time he was down there, it was during PT time and he decided to give the new guys a little competition in pull ups. After doing more than they did, he asked his guys to help him down from the bar and back into his wheelchair. This time Justin got to see his platoon’s medic for the first time since June 9th. I was thankful to finally meet him. In hearing Doc’s story, Justin realized that Doc had downplayed the full seriousness of Justin’s condition on the mountain and how close he was to bleeding out. Doc had injured three discs in his back while carrying Justin down the mountain, yet he would not let any of the other guys take his spot in carrying Justin. He may be small in stature, but he played a huge role in saving Justin’s life and I will always be thankful for him.

 We had some dinner with friends that evening which ended with an unexpected trip to Winn, but it was good to catch up with them and Corey had a blast playing with their kids. Saturday morning, we were able to go to the Easter egg hunt at our church in Georgia. We enjoyed seeing the friends who were there and Corey had fun collecting eggs and holding the baby chickens. After having lunch with one of Justin’s guys, we hit the road again and drove down to Florida to spend some time with family.

 We’ve been on the go every day since arriving, but it’s the good kind of busy where at the end of the day you’re content having enjoyed the day rather than rushing from one appointment to the next and feeling like you spent the entire day busy but accomplished nothing that needed to get done. This convalescent leave was much needed for all of us. Justin’s gotten to spend time with his family and catch up with childhood friends…and of course, do some fishing (hunting will have to wait until his leg heals a bit more). I’ve gotten to relax, and Corey’s gotten to play with his cousins and even got to take a trip to Chuck E. Cheese with Granny. This evening Justin, Corey, and I had some family pictures taken for the first time since before the deployment. I’m looking forward to seeing how they turned out. Tomorrow we’re meeting with the city guy and will be seeing what will be our new house in person. It will be having a bit of a makeover, so it’ll be fun to see the “before” for ourselves. Later this week, we’ll be celebrating Justin’s grandfather’s birthday. So glad that we’ll be in town for the occasion. Being in the military, Justin has had to miss a lot of birthdays and holidays, so it’s always nice when he doesn’t have to miss one.

 Once we return to Walter Reed, things will probably be fairly busy. Justin has a fly fishing tournament coming up that he is very excited about. He also hopefully will be back on two legs before too long. The doctors said at least 6-8 weeks post-surgery and we’re at 4 weeks now. Please pray that the right leg continues to hold up and won’t need to have the same surgery that the left leg is healing from. He’s so tired of surgeries (and so am I). Though one good thing about this last one is that they took him off of the pain medication that he was previously taking and he went through the withdraws when he was out of it and had plenty of other meds to make it a non-issue. His pain is currently under control with very little medication, so this surgery didn’t give him any setbacks on the pain management after the first couple weeks. He’s hoping to be completely off the narcotics very soon. That is a huge praise! Each time he goes back in for surgery, a setback is always a concern, but each time he’s come out in the same place or better (after a short time) than he was before. The surgeries may be a bit of a setback with the healing, but thankfully not with the pain.

 April is the month of the military child, so I’d like to bring attention to them and some of the special needs that they have that you all could keep in your prayers. Military life can be very rewarding and interesting, but it can also be difficult – especially on the kids. Of the first 6 months of Corey’s life, Justin was probably only around for half of them due to various trainings and such. From 6 months to 18 months, Justin was deployed and only say Corey for about 2 weeks. Corey has had to say good-bye to his daddy more times than I can remember and he’s only 4 years old. He’s been forced to understand things that most adults struggle with regarding Justin’s injuries. He hasn’t always responded perfectly, but I’m proud of how well he’s handled it for the most part especially considering how young he is.

 Both of my parents were also military kids. My mom’s father spent a few years in the Army. My mom was young during his Army career, and doesn’t remember much, if any, of that time. My dad’s father spent 20 years in the Air Force. They moved quite a few times during Bubba’s career. As a result, school was difficult for my dad. He would start a school year at one school and then have to transfer. The new school would be ahead of the old school and my dad would have to play catch-up. My Grams spent a lot of time helping my dad and his brothers learn the lessons they needed to get them to the right place in their books.

 In many ways, military moves are much easier with younger children. They are much more adaptable, and while there’s just no good explanation to a two year old as to why these strange men are putting all of his toys into boxes and taking them out to a big truck, it’s a lot easier than trying to tell your 17 year old that he will have to switch schools right before his senior year leaving his friends, teammates, and girlfriend behind (or so I would imagine as I’ve got 13 more years to go before Corey is that age). For Corey, leaving Georgia last summer meant missing all except the first game of his first t-ball season. For him, that one game was exciting and I don’t think he realizes how much he missed. For a teenager on a team that he/she had to try out to be on, worked hard in practices, and then had to move, that would be so much harder.

 Life isn’t all bad for military kids. Corey has experienced a lot more in 4 short years than I did in quite a few more. I had never flown on an airplane until I was 18…Corey was 6 months old. I had never seen snow until I was 10 and hadn’t seen it falling until I was 25…Corey was a newborn and saw both. Corey and I built our first snowman at the same time. I had never been to a foreign country until I was 25…Corey was born in Germany and his passport picture was taken when he was 10 days old. Corey has traveled to many places and has met many people because of where the Army has sent his daddy. He may not have an answer when people ask where he’s from, but that just means he’s loved by people all over the country and even some outside the country, and that’s pretty awesome.

 What are some specific things military kids could use prayer for? Comfort and grace when it’s time to say good-bye. Most good-byes are just good-bye for now, but they’re still difficult. Corey loves visiting family in Florida, our friends in Sharptown, and our church family and neighbors in Georgia, but he can never have them all together at once, so there’s always someone that he’s missing. For school aged children as they’re trying to fit in at new schools and for them to have help with academic struggles they may have. For the children who have daddies and mommies that have to be away due to trainings and deployments. For the kids who live at Walter Reed and similar situations at other military hospitals. They are expected to deal with so much and in many ways have to grow up faster while still needing to be kids and have fun in a less than fun environment. And a special prayer for those kids that have lost a parent during service for our country.

The Needs of Caregivers

Last night ABC aired a piece about military caregivers and Elizabeth Dole’s initiative to bring attention to the needs of caregivers. I posted a link and one of the comments made me think. Prior to becoming one, I never really considered the situation caregivers face…or really even what the wounded warriors face. I was clueless. When I left my house in Georgia on June 14th, I thought I’d only be gone a short time. I assumed that Walter Reed was just to stabilize Justin and get him to a certain point and then the Warrior Transition unit at Ft. Stewart would pick up where they left off. I knew our lives would change, but I didn’t know how much. I quickly learned that most places to not have the experience or staff to help amputees. Pretty much there’s just Walter Reed and the one in Texas which is why we’re still here nearly 10 months later.

 What is a caregiver? There are many different kinds of caregivers. Here at Walter Reed, it’s someone who is caring for an injured service member. The majority are either a spouse or a parent…most being a wife or mother. Some have a sibling or other family member or friend here to help them. Other kinds of caregivers are an adult child caring for a parent that is no longer capable of safely caring for themselves. Another is a parent caring for a special needs child. While the needs of person being cared for are often very different between wounded, aging, and special needs child, I think that all caregivers have similar needs in some areas.

 Here at Walter Reed, most caregivers are having to care for their loved one in multiple areas. Most of the wounded tend to have multiple problems that need attention. Justin is one of the lucky ones. Losing limbs may not be what most people would describe as “lucky”, but think about it. Justin had a rocket land at his feet…not just a rocket propelled grenade (RPG), but an actual rocket. He survived it. Not only did he survive, but he kept his knees which makes rehab a whole lot easier (well, it will once he’s back on two legs anyway). He also did not sustain any brain injuries which is unusual. One of his soldiers that was somewhat close to Justin when the rocket hit got a concussion, yet Justin did not. I guess something can be said for him having a hard head. Another thing Justin hasn’t really had that many others who have seen combat have had to deal with is post-traumatic stress. Prior to his injuries, I had often complained to him about how little emotion he showed. I would get so frustrated when something that would upset me didn’t seem to bother him at all…okay, I confess, I get frustrated by it still. He just goes with the flow and doesn’t let things get to him. I’m completely the opposite, so in some ways, this journey of ours has been a lot harder on me (emotionally…he’s got me beat with the physical aspect). The most emotional he’s been since all this started was when he was on quite a cocktail of pain medicine. I thought that facing his mortality had made him more sensitive, but as soon as he was off the meds, I realized that it was the drugs talking. Most of the caregivers have to deal with both physical wounds that you can see and often that you can’t like brain injuries. Many also deal with PTSD and other emotional changes their loved one has gone through. As difficult as it’s been, I’m thankful that I only have one set of problems to help him through.

 What do caregivers need? Most of us won’t reach out to ask for help. The needs of the person we’re caring for tend to make our own needs seem smaller in comparison. Sometimes we don’t even know what we need or how to put it into words to ask for it. I guess the first thing would be for prayers, prayers and more prayers. Justin needs prayers for physical healing, but our whole family is part of this struggle and some days it’s just plain hard and I have to drag myself to make it to bedtime. Some days I feel like I’m about to explode and things keep adding up until something that normally would be annoying makes me want to scream and cry and throw things. Like the other day, it was raining and we were going somewhere. I buckled Corey into his seat, then ran back to help Justin into the truck. Then spent a few minutes manhandling his wheelchair to get it into the backseat of the truck (since it can’t be in the bed when it’s raining or it’ll get soaked). By the time I finished that, I was pretty wet and then Corey confessed that he’d unbuckled his seatbelt. Corey unbuckling his seat belt never makes me happy, but when I’d already been soaked from the rain and frustrated with Justin’s chair, that was the last thing I wanted to hear and I was ready to lose it. I’m not a ticking time bomb, but sometimes my emotions do get the best of me and I feel like the Hulk (minus the green skin and huge muscles of course)…turning from a loving wife and mother to someone who wants to smash things.

 Caregivers need a break. Living in this small apartment, practically on top of each other isn’t always easy. Sometimes I need a vacation from it, but unless Justin gets leave, I’m stuck here. Probably a lot of people don’t realize that Justin and the majority of the wounded here are still active duty which keeps them under military policy regarding leave. We can’t just come and go as we please. If we go outside a certain mile radius, he has to request permission first. If he wants to be gone during the week, he’s got to take leave or get a pass. He’s also limited by the number of days of leave that he can take. If he takes leave to go on a hunting trip, it might require him to cut Christmas leave short. It’s frustrating when all three of us need to get away from here for a mental health break (or for Justin, he physically heals better away from here), but we can’t. They attempt to run this unit as if it was a normal unit, but it’s just not. Red tape is a part of our daily lives and likely always will be since once Justin’s out of the Army, we’ll be dealing with the VA. Sometimes I just want to run away from it all, but when I married Justin, our vows didn’t saw for better or for worse (unless worse requires me to put up with things that stretch me to the limit). So many marriages fall apart in situations like ours, and while it’s horrible, it’s easy to see why it happens. Dealing with this amount of high stress for months/years without seeing the end in sight and knowing that for some aspects, the only “end” is either death or divorce is difficult to say the least. No, our marriage is not on the rocks, but if you want to include the marriages of the wounded warriors in your prayers, it would be appreciated.

 For others it’s a parent who thought they were done caring for the daily needs of their son or daughter when they moved out and joined the military. Many have had to leave careers, spouses, and other children behind to come to Walter Reed to care for their adult child in a time of great need. For others it’s a sibling or friend who leave everything behind to come here. Many of the non-spouse caregivers have lost their insurance when they lost their job to come here. Yes, there is the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), but that’s only for a limited time. Places of employment can’t be expected to hold open a job for years waiting for the care giver to return. There are so many sacrifices made by caregivers.

 Another need is to please be understanding. If you send me a message and I don’t answer right away, please don’t think I’m ignoring you. If you call, and I don’t answer, it’s not because I don’t want to talk. I’m probably at an appointment with Justin when the message pops up on my phone or my phone rings. I can’t always answer right away and with the million things on my mind regarding Justin’s care and raising a very active 4 year old, it may take me a bit to remember to return the call or message. I do appreciate every message or call. Please don’t give up on me. Knowing you’re thinking about me enough to contact me means a lot.

 As the segment mentioned, the risk of depression is high among caregivers. I’m not in a constant state of depression, but I do have my ups and downs. It’s hard being surrounded 24/7 by pain. Knowing that while things will get somewhat better, there will come a point that we’ll be at the best we’re going to be and that will be our “new normal”. Many of us silently grieve for what should have been. The futures we imagined for our families are now shattered and we’re mostly in survival mode. Imagining the future can be scary with all the uncertainty. For us, the future we imagined was Justin returning from his third deployment just like he did with the first two. A homecoming ceremony and enjoying some more time at Ft. Stewart. Likely several more changes of duty station and Justin putting in his 20 years in the Army and retiring at the age of 39. We had brought up the possibility of having another child after the deployment. Right now, I have no clue where our life is headed. Justin is back and forth on whether he wants to stay in the Army is medically retire. And with the troop drawdowns, he may not have a choice in the matter. We have no idea how long we’ll be at Walter Reed. They’re just starting the medical board process and we’ve heard that can take up to a year…or longer. As for another child, I feel anxious just thinking about being pregnant or having a newborn right now. I’m juggling so much right now trying to give Corey the attention he deserves while caring for Justin and every now and then trying to squeeze in a little time for myself. The thought of adding in another little one is more than I can handle right now…and possibly ever. And that’s without even talking about pregnancy and post-partum hormones which make even the most normal situations seem worse. People sometimes tell me that I’m so strong or call me an inspiration. Most of the time, I don’t feel all that strong or inspiring. I feel worn out and run down. I feel like when I’m spending more time taking care of Justin that I’m failing Corey and when I spend more time with Corey that I’m failing Justin. I feel a little guilty taking time for myself because if Corey acts up, Justin may not be able to physically handle him since Corey likes to hide in places that Justin can’t reach.

 To echo the Jessica’s statement at the end of the ABC segment, don’t forget about us. When Justin was first injured, I was overwhelmed with the number of messages and calls I received from friends and family…and even some people who were complete strangers at the time, but I later had the opportunity to meet. Here we are nearly 10 months later and sometimes it gets pretty lonely. I’m to blame as much as anyone else. I don’t usually reach out to people not because I don’t want to but mostly because I’m so busy with Justin and Corey that I just don’t think about it. I know other people are just as busy with their families and jobs and such that it’s hard to find free time to sit around and talk on the phone or computer. Justin may be out of the woods, but our journey is nowhere near over. Often, people don’t know what to say when someone loses a loved one or they find themselves in situations like ours, so they just don’t say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing. Yes, sometimes well-meaning people make some pretty ignorant comments, but for the most part, when showing you care, your words are generally much appreciated. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we find our “new normal” and set out on that road.

 Also, please keep the children of wounded warriors in your prayers. For some, life at Walter Reed is the only life they’ve ever known. They came here as babies or weren’t even born yet when their daddy was injured. For others, like Corey, they’re expected to leave behind friends and routines and understand things that adults struggle to comprehend and deal with. Sometimes they stay with relatives for a while, and other times they live on the hospital grounds in a tiny apartment. They are dragged to appointments and have to see their parent in a lot of pain when they’re in the hospital. It’s a lot for them to deal with and they don’t always express it properly. They often act out to get attention because they went from being the center of mommy’s attention to having daddy take a lot of the attention away. Sometimes they’re scared and find that emotion difficult to express as well. Many kids never knew or will never remember when life was “normal”, when their daddy had all of his limbs and didn’t need help caring for himself. That’s tough for such little ones to grasp, and they need your prayers too.

I say all that, not to complain, but to be real. I have much to be thankful for and most of the time, that’s what I try to talk about. People typically would rather hear about the happy, upbeat stuff rather than the difficult parts of other people’s lives, but sometimes we need a glimpse into the other side of things so we can better know how to respond and pray for them. Before June 9th, I was clueless. I wish I’d known someone who could have opened my eyes to how life would be post-injury. I would have been a lot better prepared for how life now is, but prepared or not, my life has changed, as have the lives of so many here at Walter Reed. Caregivers have been referred to as “Hidden Heroes”. I don’t feel like a hero. The heroes are the ones who sacrificed life and limb and have wounds that are visible and invisible in their service to our country. We’re the ones who help them put the pieces back together when they return.  We’re normal people who have stepped up to a task that is nowhere close to normal. We work mostly behind the scenes and often aren’t even noticed unless we screw up (or are perceived to have screwed up). We do it out of love and commitment, not for personal gain or recognition. Our path is not one we chose, but we don’t want pity and neither do our wounded loved ones. Prayers, love, and support are appreciated though. Thank you so much, my friends, for all you’ve done to help us over the last year.

Our visitor and our military

Justin had a visitor today. We both had mixed feelings about the visit. Justin isn’t big on meeting famous people in general…especially high ranking officials. He’s not really the most politically correct (okay, that’s an understatement) and doesn’t like to have to censor himself. While meeting our President is something you don’t get to do every day, so many of his views and agendas directly oppose my personal convictions. He (and probably 99% of politicians…Democrat, Republican, and anything else) isn’t on my top 10 list of people I’d like to meet. To be completely honest, I was a lot more excited about meeting Gary Sinise. Not because of the fact he’s an actor in a show I enjoy watching or because he played the part of a character who was a solider in war who lost both legs in combat in the movie Forrest Gump. I enjoyed meeting him because he takes such an active role in helping wounded warriors and goes all over the place giving morale boosting concerts for active duty soldiers. (So disappointed we’re going to miss the concert at Ft. Stewart that’s coming up!) I attended one of his concerts when we were stationed in Germany. There were a lot of things he could have been doing to celebrate the 4th of July, but he and his band (named after his character in Forrest Gump – Lt. Dan) chose to go to Germany to give a concert for troops and their families. Justin had deployed a couple months prior to the concert, and it was a nice distraction for me and the other spouses whose husbands/wives were deployed.

Anyway, back to today’s visit. I did appreciate that he took the time to come down to Walter Reed to visit Justin and the other wounded warriors. They deserve to get recognition for their sacrifices from their Command in Chief. A lot of stuff in the area was shut down today due to the snow, so he could have easily gotten out of it and nobody would have thought poorly of it. I’ll give him credit for that…though since everything was shut down, he didn’t miss a day of work to visit. Lol Whether or not I agree with his policies (and more often than not, I don’t agree with them), he is our country’s president. I try to avoid political discussions in general because they can be very divisive and are typically rather negative. I have friends that agree with my views which is great, and I have friends that don’t. For the ones that don’t, I would prefer to agree to disagree and leave it at that. Arguing politics won’t change my mind and likely won’t change yours, so it’s a waste of time and can result in hurt feelings. I may not agree with his policies, but I respect the office of President. I may not have voted for him and my not like the direction he’s leading our country, but he is our President. God allowed the people of the United States to vote him into office. I may not understand it all, but God does. I don’t always understand what’s going on in my own life, so I’d be crazy to think I’d understand everything in our country and everything in the world. God is in control even when it seems like things around out of control.

I do wish President Obama and our other elected officials just up the road from Walter Reed would do more to support our military…active duty and retired (both with 20+ years of service and medical retirees), wounded and uninjured. These men and women sacrifice so much, yet they receive so little in return, and what they do receive is slowly being taken away. Some people complain about all the “freebies” military service members and their families receive. I personally don’t know what they’re talking about. If military personnel were paid so highly, why do so many qualify for government assistance to help feed their families? Yes, we get full healthcare, but it comes at a high cost – just not monetarily. The cost of our dental plan is deducted out of Justin’s paycheck just like anyone else, so that’s not a freebie. They pay for us to see the world…yeah, not as exciting as it sounds. You try living in a foreign country for a couple months before your vehicle and household goods arrive. And most of the foreign countries Justin’s visited were not exactly leisure trips. No, it wasn’t all bad. I made some awesome friends and have some great memories too, but I could say the same about Ft. Stewart. And as difficult as it is here at Walter Reed, I can honestly say I’ve made new friends and memories here too. Then there’s the issue of retirement pensions. When you hear on the news about cuts to “working age retirees” a lot of people will think that it doesn’t sound so bad. Most have a new career and make plenty of money. They don’t need all the pension money right now. Let’s think about that a minute. How many post 9/11 combat wounded veterans do you figure are of “retirement age”? The majority of the seriously wounded likely medically retired from military service and are considered disabled. Yes, some may have gone on to other careers depending how serious their injuries are, but many require full time care or are unable to work. Do you think they can afford to have their pay cut? Then there’s the cuts to military installations. When you see on the news about government shutdowns and sequestration, it’s just another story about how our government can’t get along and how bad our country is in debt. When I see those stories, I wonder how badly it will affect us. Commissaries are being closed which will really hurt a lot of families. On post/base hospitals and clinics are having to work on skeleton crews, so wait times are longer and getting an appointment when you’re actually sick is nearly impossible sometimes. They’re talking about decreasing the housing allowance. Speaking from experience, we’ve had months where nearly every dollar of Justin’s paycheck went toward necessities…and we’re typically some of the more responsible people regarding finances. There isn’t an adequate number of houses on post to hold everyone stationed at a given post and the waiting list can be long, so for many, living off post is out of necessity even though it’s financially more difficult at times. Some would say the spouse could get a job. That’s true, but the majority of military spouses that are able to find a job are under-employed. It’s hard to make a career when you have to move every couple years. And when you factor in child care costs (for those with children who aren’t school aged), sometimes the family would be losing money for have the spouse employed. Here at Walter Reed, budget cuts are felt big time. Justin’s physical therapist had her hours cut, not because of her performance but because she was one of the most recent hires. Now Justin is with a different therapist who is okay, but not nearly as personable as the one he had before the cuts. During the shutdown/sequestration the hours were cut for a lot of the civilians, so the military personnel in those departments had to work longer hours and more days in a row without a break. It was difficult for everyone around here. Now they’re cutting the Tri-care service centers where you can do in person and talk to someone about any issues or changes that need to be made. They say you can call in or go online, but I’ve heard horror stories about the call centers customer services and getting into the online “portal” from home isn’t easy if you can at all. You can’t just login like most site. You have to have a military ID (not just a dependent one) and have a card reader to plug the ID into…the majority of times the card readers don’t work or you can’t find the software to make it work because it doesn’t come with any. Talk about a headache. Then there’s deployments. Even if the soldier comes home with no injuries, it takes a toll on families. Justin’s had to miss a lot of Corey’s life or see it only through Skype and pictures. Many fathers have missed the births of their children. Birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries are either missed or celebrated early/late. The constant thought that you may never see your loved one again. The Army (and other branches do the same I assume) had a packet of paperwork for final wishes should the soldier make the ultimate sacrifice. They don’t really cover what happens if your loved one is wounded in combat. It’s a bit morbid, but I mentally prepared myself more for Justin dying than for getting limbs blown off. I don’t think I ever once even considered the possibility of him being seriously injured. I’m not trying to complain or whine about our situation. I’m thankful for the career Justin has had in the Army for the past 8 years and who knows how many in the future. I’m thankful for the care he’s receive in spite of the budget cuts here at Walter Reed. Some of the doctors and nurses that he’s had here are the top of their fields and are highly sought after. The military is the life Justin chose, and what I chose when I chose Justin…but things are definitely a lot different than when he signed his name and swore in.

I’ll stop there for my rant, but I will ask that you all pray for our military (especially those wounded and currently deployed), our elected officials (whether you agree with them or not) and our nation. II Chronicles 7:14 says “if my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” And let me tell you, our country needs some healing. Things are getting crazier and crazier. Crime is up, employment is down, and there is such much division in so many different areas. Our country needs to turn back to God before things get even worse.

9 month update

9 months…wow. For some reason that sounds like a lot more than 8 even though it’s only a few weeks more. This past month has been a bit of a roller coaster. We had some really big highs which made the disappointments seem lower. This month started out with us just getting back from a much needed convalescent leave in Florida and Georgia. Justin got his stitches out and his left leg was looking great. He got casted and was walking on two legs pretty much as soon as he put the left leg on for the first time. It was amazing to watch! He got to start back in the archery program and was able to shoot his bow standing for the first time since before his deployment. He signed up to train and try out for a few Warrior Game events. He was walking everywhere as he felt up to it just because he could. On my birthday, Corey and I joined him for physical therapy and we all walked together around the track. Then came last week…Justin went to wound care since there was still a tiny spot at the end of his left leg that hadn’t healed up. They determined that the bone was too close to the surface and consulted with orthopedics and the plastic surgery team. I’m thankful that the wound care team is on top of things and keep a close eye to make sure things are how they should be and if they’re not, make sure Justin is taken care of, but that was not the news I wanted to hear. It was decided that Justin would need the skin flap after all. The doctors tried three times to make it work with less invasive procedures, but long term, none of them worked. Justin was readmitted the next day. They reopened the leg to clean things up, then vascular checked out the blood flow in what will be the donor site. They did cultures to check for infection and the results came back that he’s infection free! The last couple times they opened up his legs, they found staph infections in the bones and he was on twice daily IV antibiotics for months. So glad that he won’t have to deal with that this time around. Everything is looking good for him to have his surgery on Tuesday followed by a stay in ICU so they can closely monitor things. Please pray that the surgery will be a success and that the flap will do its intended job so that more surgery will not be necessary after this round of inpatient.

On the non-medical side of things, we got to do some really fun things as a family. Being Floridians, we’re not big on the whole winter season, but we’ve tried to make the best of it and have some fun in the snow. The last time Corey saw snow was when he was just a year old, so he’s really enjoyed playing in it now that he’s a little older. We’ve had some snowball fights, made a somewhat wimpy snowman, and even went skiing. I was amazed at how well Justin did with the seated skiing and how well Corey did for his first time on skis…I’m pretty sure they’re both better at it than I am! After months of saying we wanted to go, we finally took Corey to Medieval Times. We had a great time and enjoyed the show and the food…though Corey wasn’t so sure about the whole eating without utensils thing. Justin made the front page of our hometown newspaper. A few months back, a reporter from the Florida Today newspaper and a cameraman came up to Maryland to see what a day in the life of Justin at Walter Reed was like. We had talked to the reporter several times before on the phone, but this was the first time talking to him in person. He thought it would be good for people back home to see how things are up here and how much progress Justin has made. They happened to be here right after Justin got his first leg so they got to be here for some of his first post-injury steps. Justin and I were invited to attend a Trout Unlimited event. I ended up staying home with Corey, but Justin was able to go. He got all dressed up…first time I’ve ever seen him in a non-military suit. He got to meet some really cool people while he was there. A couple were even from our hometown/county, so he had fun talking to them about favorite fishing spots and such. One of them ended up winning a raffle and gave it to Justin. When he got home, he was like a kid at Christmas showing me everything! This was no fruit basket the guy won (though we still would have been appreciative if it was)…it was a full setup with a fly rod, reel, fly line, fishing shirts, and a bunch more. He can’t wait until he’s able to go out and use it.

We also got some news that if it works out, it will be a HUGE blessing for our family. I haven’t said anything about it to too many people because it almost seems too good to be true and I don’t want to jinx it, but it really looks like it might happen and I’m hoping and praying that it does. A couple weeks ago, Justin’s aunt called and said that a man who works with our local congressman wanted to talk to us and asked if she could give him our contact information. We agreed and he called later that afternoon. He was at a city council meeting for our hometown (a few days after the newspaper article) and the city acquired a few foreclosures and they decided that they wanted to give one to us. He asked if he could pass our contact information to the city representative so that we could talk directly with them if we were interested. The city guy called a couple days later with more information. We are unsure right now how long we’ll be in Maryland or what will happen next regarding Justin’s career in the Army, but our long-term plan is definitely to move back to our hometown and Justin even has a couple job opportunities already. The city guy, Bob, gave me a list of addresses for houses to choose from and asked if we had anyone in the area who could be our “eyes” and work directly with him in this whole process. My dad agreed and was excited to help us with this and he met up with Bob the next day to walk through the houses and give us his assessment as to which he thought would best meet our needs. Dad and Bob will be meeting on Monday with an architect to see how to renovate the interior of the house to make it wheelchair accessible. I’ve been working on our end to get all the necessarily paperwork and documentation together. Justin and I have been discussing paint colors and what things in a house will make his life easier rather than just making do. I’m afraid to get too excited about it for fear that it will fall through, but I just can’t help being excited about the possibility of having a place of our own…something I didn’t think we’d be even discussing this decade. Justin could finally get his man cave to hang his hunting trophies and have his Bass Pro camouflage recliner! We're hoping and praying that everything works out with this.

It hasn’t been an easy 9 months. In fact, some parts have been extremely difficult, but in spite of the difficulties, we have been blessed. Not just with the stuff people have given too us (though that has been a huge blessing), but in so many other ways. We’re blessed that Justin is alive and has such a determined spirit. Never once has he given up or said he can’t do something. Sure, he’s got physical limitations, but just because he can’t do something how he used to doesn’t mean he can’t do it at all. He can’t traipse through the woods and climb a tree to get away from a mean hog, but he’s got his track chair and that can get him just about anywhere he needs to go. We’re blessed with such good medical care here at Walter Reed. We don’t particularly like living up here in such a big city, but there’s probably nowhere else in the world where he could find the level of experience for his type of injuries as you’ll find here. From the time he arrived, he’s received exceptional care. We’re blessed with family who is willing and able to help out when we’ve needed it the most. We’re blessed with friends and neighbors who have helped take care of our house while we’re away and have brought us meals when we’re in town. We’re blessed to have friends and family who have prayed for us, encouraged us all along the way, sent us such kind messages through the mail and on facebook, and have shown us so much kindness in so many ways. We’re blessed at how well Corey has adapted to Justin’s injuries. He has a hard time knowing how to properly express himself when he’s upset about Justin being in the hospital, but he’s never once acted scared to be around Justin. He loves his daddy and in his own way has accepted Justin’s injuries and with his little sense of humor can even joke about it (his sense of humor is much like Justin’s…slightly warped lol). It’s not always easy to count your blessings when the difficult times get overwhelming. I had a few times like that in the past week where the frustration of it all just built up and I just wanted to scream and cry and throw things. Life in general can be hard even if you’re not having to deal with situations like ours, but life is never hopeless. Psalm 30:5b says “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” I’ve cried many tears over the past 9 months, but some of those tears have been tears of joy. Sometimes it feels like this “night” will never end, but one day we’ll look back and it will be a distant memory. We just have to keep holding on and waiting for the “morning” to come.

first time on 2 legs!

A Special Thank You to People Who Make a Difference

The past 8 months have been quite a journey. It’s had its ups and downs alone the way. Thankfully we haven’t been alone down this road. We’ve had God with us even before Justin was injured and He hasn’t left our sides. We’ve had friends and family praying for us, encouraging us, and caring for us. We’ve also been helped by quite a few non-profit groups…most of which we had never heard of until coming to Walter Reed. I’d like to tell you about some of them. There are so many more that I can’t possibly mention or remember them all, so I’m just going to mention the ones that have personally helped us. Quite a few groups regularly make rounds bringing goodies to our building and/or meals to the wounded warrior floor in the hospital. I’ve appreciated them all even if I don’t remember their names. The ones I’m about to tell you about are in no specific order, and if you would like more information about any of them, feel free to ask me or “like” their facebook pages. They are all wonderful organizations with a heart for healing our nation’s wounded service members.

The first group of people is the wonderful people who make the Quilts of Valor. Justin received two of these quilts when he was in Afghanistan and has received a third one since arriving here. These quilts have brought us much warmth and comfort during this time. They are beautiful and I know there was a lot of love for our service members that went into them. If you are a quilter and would like to know more about how to get involved, I can give you some more information about how to help our wounded men and women.

The group that came to see Justin while he was in Germany was the Wounded Warrior Project. This group is probably the most well-known due to their commercials and t-shirts. I personally think they could do a lot more good if they functioned on less overhead costs, but they do a good work in helping the wounded and bringing attention to them so that they aren’t forgotten. They have given us bags, clothes (including socks which gave us a laugh), and hygiene items. They visited Justin regularly when he was inpatient and brought milkshakes. One of the regulars at Walter Reed is also a wounded warrior missing both of his legs…though you wouldn’t know it unless he’s wearing shorts. He’s walking, living proof that there’s a light at the end of this tunnel.

The group that we’ve probably had the most interaction with is Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing. I can’t say enough good about this group. One of Justin’s favorite hobbies has always been fishing. When he was injured, he thought he’d have to wait a long time to get back into fishing. Then he heard about Project Healing Waters. He was fishing in a tournament a little over two months post-injury. They come weekly to Walter Reed to teach the wounded warriors more about fly fishing, practice casting, making fishing flies, and overall being such an encouragement. Some of the trips, Justin’s gone on by himself and some have been with our whole family. Corey has come to love fly fishing from the trips he’s been on. They also played a part in the hunting trip Justin and I went on in Texas. Everyone we have met through this program has been so nice to us and we are thankful for them and the work they do.

I mentioned America’s Fund/Semper Fi Fund recently in one of my statues. They do so much to help not just the wounded warriors, but also their families. Some of their people go room-to-room to visit the wounded while they’re inpatient. They help out families financially so that visit a loved one when they’re in the hospital isn’t a hardship. They give out jackets and blankets to the adults and teddy bears to the kids. They help out with child care costs, pet costs, help alongside the VA to assist wounded warriors in purchasing new vehicles, help give back the gift of mobility by giving track chairs (the special chairs with the tank treads), and so much more. They also do so much for the caregivers to help keep our morale up.

Operation Ward 57 is named after the original wounded warrior ward in the old Walter Reed that was located in D.C. Now the wounded warriors are on the 4th floor, but I personally think Ward 57 sounds a lot cooler than Operation 4th Floor of building 10. Most of our interaction with them was on the inpatient side. When Justin got to Walter Reed, he was in no condition to be up and about, much less to deal with things like going to the barber shop. Operation Ward 57 brought the barber shop to him. They regularly bring in people to cut hair on the wounded warrior floor. For guys like Justin who have sported military regulation haircuts for so long, they feel not quite themselves when their hair gets too long, and the awesome people from Ward 57 made Justin feel more like himself. They also come around and have special events in the hospital like ice cream sundaes which may seem like a simple thing, but it really means a lot to the families on the 4th floor.

Heroes Haven is a small non-profit out of Sharptown, MD. Most of the people who run it are either in the American Legion or Sons of the American Legion. They’re the ones who helped Justin go on his first hunting trip post-injury. They welcomed our family and the other two participants into town with a police and motorcycle escort through a couple small towns where people lined the streets waving and holding flags and signs. They welcomed us into their town and into their homes and treated us like family.

Our family did not stay in the Fisher House, but we were helped by one of their programs - Hero Miles. The Fisher houses help families have a place to stay free of cost while their loved one is undergoing care at a military facility. For a smaller family like ours, the Navy Lodge and now building 62 are sufficient, but for larger families or cases where extended family stays for longer periods of time, the Fisher Houses provide a place for them to feel at home. The Fisher House Foundation also stepped up during the government shutdown to help families of soldiers killed in action with their expenses. When Justin was injured, the Army travel people booked me a flight to Walter Reed. I didn’t have either of our vehicles up here which at first wasn’t as big of a deal, but once Justin was discharged, we wanted to venture off the hospital complex more. To get our vehicle, we needed to fly back to Georgia to get it. This is where Hero Miles helped out. People donate their unused frequent flyer miles and Hero Miles uses them to pay for flights for the wounded warriors and family/friends. For us, it was to fly back home briefly. For others, it’s the only way family can afford to come visit.

The Yellow Ribbon Fund does so much to help wounded warriors and their families. One way that they helped us was with their taxi voucher program. Before we had our vehicle up here, there were times where we wanted to get out or needed a ride to the airport. The Yellow Ribbon Fund provides taxi vouchers so that we’re able to get around for free. They also provide special outings and services for caregivers. On holidays, they bring gifts for the wounded and their caregivers.

Active Heroes isn’t a group that makes rounds at Walter Reed, but they definitely deserve mention. They organized a golf benefit for us last month and have another schedule for later this year. The proceeds all go into a fund that is setup for long term assistance or for help with immediate specific expenses. This is just one of the programs they have going. Another that is in the works is a retreat for wounded warriors and their families. They have purchased the land and are working on building it. I’ve enjoyed seeing the pictures they’ve posted on their facebook page. It looks like such a peaceful place that will be enjoyed by so many.

Operation Homefront is an organization that I’m not as familiar with, but I still appreciate them and what they do. On Valentine’s Day, I heard a knock at our door. When I got to the door, nobody was there, but at my feet was a nice bag filled with gifts for me. There was a bag at every door on our hall. Out of curiosity, I looked up the bag since it was a name brand, and I’d estimate they spent over $100 on each room. The majority of the caregivers around here are women – wives, mothers, sisters, other female family members, or friends. Most are probably like us where it’s rare for the wounded warrior to go anywhere without the caregiver, so it’s hard to buy surprise gifts. It was really nice of Operation Homefront to surprise the caregivers (and I know that Yellow Ribbon Fund has done similar on the inpatient side of the hospital) on Valentine’s Day.

Justin and I are used to being the ones that people call when they need help. We’re not used to being the ones that need help, but right now we find ourselves being the recipient of the help of these wonderful, generous groups/people. I don’t know how to thank them enough for what they’ve done and are still doing for our family. The best way I can think of right now to show my appreciation is by recognizing them and getting their names out there. If you’re reading this and you’re a part of one of these or any other organization that helps our veterans – both the wounded and the ones who were more fortunate – I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do! You truly are making a difference in lives.

8 month update - healing and making sense of things

Tomorrow it will be 8 months since Justin was injured – 2/3 of a year. A few days ago, Justin had his stitches removed and his left leg is looking great! Another week and a half until he sees his orthopedic surgeon to find out if he’s cleared to get his left prosthetic. Once he gets that, the hardcore rehab will start. I can’t wait to see him walking around the track with two legs…though he’s doing really well with one leg. He did 6 laps around the track with one leg and crutches yesterday. (Different crutches that are more stable than the ones he wiped out with in the Chick-fil-a parking lot a few weeks ago.) When Justin got his stitches out, it got me think as to when the last time was that he didn’t have stitches/lines/tubes/IVs/other assorted medical stuff attached to him. He got the PICC line in September, so it was before that, and he had stitches when he got out of the hospital at the end of July, so maybe for a brief time in August – if at all post injury. Pretty crazy. So glad he’s free of all that finally! Pain management is going great. The majority of his daily pills are vitamins. He’d like to be off of all the non-vitamins, but that’s something he’s going to have to work with his doctor on since some have some nasty reactions when you quit taking them. The H.O. bone growth hasn’t been bothering him too bad lately. The main thing that’s been hurting is the nerve pain mostly when he is laying down at night. We might have to juggle when he takes his nerve pain med if it continues. Overall, things are going really well for Justin’s recovery. Some R&R over Christmas and the recent convalescent leave did the trick…and got us into a warmer climate which is an added bonus!

Non-medically, how are things going? We’ve got Corey back with us in Maryland, so he’s having to adjust to being back up here. I’m also having to adjust to having a little alarm clock that likes to jump on me again. lol Justin is getting assigned to the unit up here, so we’re still trying to figure out exactly what that will mean for us. So many questions that we’re unable to find answers for at the moment – and some may eventually have answers we don’t particularly like. Right now we’re just having to wait and see…which drives me nuts since I like to plan and know what’s going to happen.

I also came to a realization last week about myself. Since Justin’s been more independent in recent months, he’s been able to go and do stuff without me. This is great because I don’t typically want to wake up early to do…well, pretty much anything. lol Early morning hunting is not my thing at all. Anyway, I realized last weekend that when he’s away from me doing stuff – especially if it involves a long drive – I get anxious and worried that something bad will happen to him. This isn’t because I feel he’s incapable of taking care of himself without me there, because he’s perfectly capable, and it’s not because I think he’s unable to drive by himself (though I did ask him to take a buddy in case he was too worn out after hunting to drive the 2 hours back to our house…which he didn’t mind because he got to hang out with a friend he hadn’t seen since he was injured). I guess it’s just that so many things have happened to members of my family in the past couple years, my anxiety is just me wondering what’s next and fearing it. While it’s probably a fairly natural response, it’s not healthy to live in fear. Now that I realized my problem, I can work on trusting God more. It’s so easy to trust Him when things are going well, when things are calm. It takes a lot more effort to trust when things don’t make sense and you’re hurting. For me, it’s never been an issue of knowing if God CAN do something, but if He WILL. I know that God can work miracles of healing and protection. I know that He always answers prayers, but sometimes He choose to answer those prayers with a “no”. God chose to answer the many prayers for Justin’s protection with a “yes” for his first two deployments. With the firefights he was in and the IEDs planted in his areas of operation, that’s nothing short of a miracle, and I’m thankful for it. This deployment, God chose to bring Justin home alive. Not in one piece like I would have preferred, like I prayed for, but he’s alive. I may never understand why God allowed Justin to lose his legs. Right now it just doesn’t make sense.

I once heard life here on earth compared to needlework like cross stitch. In this life, all we see is the underside of it. We see the colors and a vague pattern, but it’s not always very pretty. There are knots and tangles. It just doesn’t make sense. Once we get to heaven, we’ll see things from God’s perspective and we will see the picture clearly. It will be beautiful. For now, I’ll have to just trust that God’s plan – His pattern – will someday make sense because right now, there are so many things that don’t make sense to me. I just have to keep reminding myself that even though things are out of my control, they aren’t out of God’s. He knows my future and how everything will work together even though I don’t have a clue.

Medics, doctors, nurses, and others in the medical field

Tonight Corey and I were able to go to Awana at our church in GA. Afterwards I was on my way to pick Corey up when one of the ladies said that the dad of a couple of the kids was a medic and was wondering where/when Justin was injured. I talked to him for a little bit and it turns out that he was in the field hospital where the helicopter took Justin after his guys got him off the mountain. I showed him a picture of Justin and he recognized him. He seemed a little shaken up. He told me that with as many guys go through the field hospital, he copes by trying not to look at their faces. I was glad to be able to tell him how well Justin is doing. He sees soldiers when they’re in very rough shape, but it’s probably very rare to find out how they’re doing 6 months down the road except in the cases where the soldier doesn’t make it. That got me thinking about a few things regarding combat medics.

One type of combat medic is the one who is attached to a platoon. These soldiers train with the platoon before a deployment. They build trust and often friendships. The guy that he’s stitching up after getting shot or applying a tourniquet to after being in an explosion was the guy he sat next to and laughed with at a backyard BBQ a few months earlier. He does everything in his power to make sure his buddies survive and likely wonders if it was enough. He is most likely the first medical attention his platoon receives and his job is to get them stable and ready to transport to the field hospital. After that, they can only hope and pray that they’ll see their friends again. Obviously some wounds aren’t as critical as others, but others may haunt them.

Another type is like the man I met tonight. Soldiers come though the field hospital in pretty rough shape. Justin probably doesn’t remember much, if any, of his time at the field hospital. He was on some pretty strong pain killers. And as bad of a condition as Justin was in at the field hospital, I’m sure they saw much worse. Having to see so many soldiers severely wounded and others that are barely alive has got to be tough. It’s hard for me sometimes at Walter Reed to look around and see so many broken bodies, but at least I get to see the positives – the unbroken spirits, the families together living life as strange as the Walter Reed life may be, and these brave men and women pushing themselves toward recovery. The medics at the field hospital just see the bad stuff and very rarely have an image of those soldiers down the road of recovery to replace the one they have of them at their worst.

As with all of our military service men and women, medics need your prayers. Prayers for safety when deployed and prayers for the peace that only God can give to help them after the deployments. They’ve seen so much while helping so many. It’s because of men and women who choose to be combat medics that my husband is still alive. I’m so thankful for the man I met tonight, the medic attached to Justin’s platoon, and others like them.

I’m also thankful for the non-combat military medical personnel (and civilian doctors and nurses too). Since June, I feel like I’ve received a crash course in nursing except without all the training…and only have one patient that I’m responsible for. I know more about orthopedics, wound care, medications, and other random bits of medical knowledge than I ever thought I would. I can look at Justin’s blood pressure and tell you if it’s high, low, or normal and if it’s high, because I know him, I can usually tell you why. I can rattle off a list of medications and tell you when he takes them, what they’re for, and what will happen if he stops taking certain ones of them. I’ve learned that you can tell what stage in the healing process a wound is in based on the color. I know the difference between a flap procedure and a skin graft. For every bit of knowledge I’ve learned, there’s been a doctor and/or nurse who has explained it to me. They not only took care of Justin, but they also patiently answered the multitude of questions that I have had over the past nearly 8 months. They handled the unpleasant tasks without complaint. They joked around with us and helped lighten the mood on days when there really wasn’t much to smile about. Hospitals tend to be depressing places, but the right type of nurses/techs/medical staff can make the time there a lot more pleasant…though Justin and I would prefer to see them when stopping by the floor to say hi rather than being on the inpatient side again. The more time I spent with the really good staff members on the ward where Justin was inpatient, the more respect I have for people in the medical profession. It’s not a career field I would choose for myself, but I sure appreciate those who have chosen it. To the techs who check vitals and empty bedside commodes, the surgeons who perform life-saving surgeries, the pharmacists who make sure the patients drugs don’t cause bad reactions, and the nurses who do more than they ever receive credit for doing, and everyone else who is in the medical field thank you from the bottom of my heart.

7 month update

Two days ago marked 7 months since Justin was injured. Yesterday marked 5 years since Justin and I got married. Even though injuries are nothing to celebrate, we can celebrate the fact he is alive and that we were able to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary…though I was disappointed that the Cheesecake Factory up the road had closed so we weren’t able to go there for our anniversary dinner. lol I guess we’ll just have to have a post-anniversary dinner and go to the one that’s a little further away and hopefully still open. Though our second choice in dinner locations sure beat hospital room service!

Where are we now? Before we went on Christmas leave, Justin’s wound care team looked at his left leg and were concerned that the bone/tendon might be working its way too close to the surface again (same issue that sent him to  inpatient in October/November). He met with his orthopedic surgeon who agreed and sent him to the plastic surgeon to see what could be done to give the leg some extra padding. The ortho and plastics doctors agreed that since they had tried twice to make do with what was there and it hadn’t worked, they needed to go for the more complex procedure that would require a longer hospital stay. They scheduled it for right after we were to get back after Christmas. I posted about it on my facebook and asked people to pray. We went down to Florida and had a great time. We were able to relax, spend time with family, see some friends, ate very well, bought a new truck, and enjoyed some fresh air and Florida sunshine. Christmas leave went by way too fast and neither of us wanted to go back to Maryland. Corey didn’t want to go back either, but fortunately for him, he didn’t have to. With Justin’s upcoming surgery, we decided to leave him in Florida a little longer since seeing Justin in the hospital upsets him. A family member would bring him back to us after Justin was released. We got back to Maryland on a Friday. Thought we would have Saturday to relax and take care of things, but instead ended up taking Justin to the ER due to the stomach crud and a bad migraine. On Sunday, he was readmitted into inpatient pending his surgery on Monday to open the leg back up and prepare it for the big procedure. Monday morning came and he was taken to the OR. He got out of surgery and ended up with a bad migraine. They gave him some medicine to help and he rested most of the day while we waited to talk to the surgeon about what they had done to his leg. I was cooking dinner when he finally came, but he told Justin that if he’d seen Justin’s leg before taking him to the OR, he wouldn’t have even admitted him into the hospital. It healed so much over Christmas that he, the wound care team, and the plastic surgeon agreed that it didn’t need the big procedure! The combination of different eating habits (Christmas ham multiple times), better rest, more relaxation, and most importantly – people praying – made his leg heal at a faster rate than it had been. Since it healed that well in two weeks away from Walter Reed, his ortho doctor recommended 3 weeks of convalescent leave to be spent away from here. Right now we’re waiting on approval from the Army side of things…always the holdup around here. The medical side wants him out of here for a bit with the hope that when he comes back his leg will be completely healed, and after seeing it yesterday in wound care, I think it’s definitely a possibility. After it’s healed, ortho has to clear him and then he can get casted and get his second leg and then things will really get moving in PT. During his brief time in the hospital, they took out the PICC line since he’s done with his IV antibiotics (it had been in for 99 days). Now that it’s out, he can do more with crutches and can resume his archery.

2013 was a rough year, but if the rest of 2014 is like the first 11 days, then I’m optimistic that it’s going to get better from here. Prayers have been answered above and beyond what I anticipated. I figured the big procedure would do what it was supposed to and that it would be what Justin’s leg needed to heal and then it would get better. God answered everyone’s prayers by healing Justin’s leg without the ordeal of more surgery. The weird bone growth that I’ve previously mentioned (H.O.) hasn’t been bothering him as much, so I’m hopeful that it won’t require surgery. It’s looking hopeful that Justin will finally get his convalescent leave. The colonel that made things difficult for the recreational therapy department has been given a new assignment and will be leaving Walter Reed very soon. Things are definitely looking up. Please pray that the Army side will approve Justin leave and that they’ll approve it for Justin to leave the area. Please also pray that Justin’s leg will finish healing so that he can get his new left leg. Hopefully by this time next month, I will have more good news to share regarding Justin’s progress. God is good. Thank you for your continued prayers. They really do make a difference.

Justin's new ride

Reflections on 2013

The end of the year is often a time to reflect on the year that is coming to a close and think ahead to the new one. 2013 was a year I’d rather not repeat. It wasn’t all bad, and there were some pretty awesome times, but there were a lot of times when I’d ask myself “what’s next?”…and not because I thought it would be something pleasant. January was pretty ordinary. February was pretty good until the end when Justin deployed a couple days before my birthday. Corey and I got back into our routine while Justin was having a deployment that was definitely not boring (though I would have been okay with boring). March and April went by pretty fast, as did most of May. Toward the end of May, the Burdette side of the family welcomed a new member when Cole married Nikki. Then came June. It’s been a rollercoaster since then. But for each difficulty, there has been something to be thankful for. Justin got his legs blown off, but he’s still alive. His injuries could have been a lot worse, but they weren’t. My dad’s place of employment decided to downsize and my dad was laid off after working there 30+ years. Because of his age and years of service, he qualified for early retirement status…something that couldn’t have happened if he had been laid off a year ago. My sister’s husband got in a car accident (other driver was at fault), but he wasn’t injured. The driver that hit him didn’t have a valid driver’s license, but amazingly he had insurance. Two things to be thankful for. Justin’s brother was riding his motorcycle and was hit by a car. He sustained minor injuries, but he was wearing his helmet (actually Justin’s helmet which we were glad that he had and was wearing), so he was a lot better off than he would have been without it. My grandmother had a mini-stroke not too long before Thanksgiving. We’re thankful it wasn’t worse than it was, but we still aren’t sure what effects from it are only temporary and which are permanent. The doctors are still working with her to find out what medications will help her situation. One medication did not react well with her, and we had to call for an ambulance on Christmas day. She is now out of the hospital and she and Poppa will be staying with my parents for a bit while she’s recovering. Please pray that she will make a full recovery from the stroke and that the doctors will have wisdom in treating her. Please also pray for her as she’s having difficulty understanding and remembering what’s going on and is worried and anxious about a lot of things.

There were a lot of things that made 2013 a rough year, but there are also a lot of things that happened that gave us a lot of good memories to treasure. Corey finished his first year in the Awana program as a Puggle. He also got to play in his first team sport…even though his season was cut short due to Justin getting injured. He got to play in practices and in one game. As I already mentioned, I gained a new sister-in-law, and Corey and I were able to be at their wedding. My sister, Krista, and I took a road trip together down to Florida for the wedding/mom and Wendy’s birthdays and had a lot of fun. (“Look, there’s a Chick-fil-a!” lol) Justin found out that even though he was injured, he’d still be able to hunt and fish and wouldn’t have to wait on getting prosthetics to do so…huge morale boost for him. Justin was able to participate in a fly fishing tournament the weekend before his birthday…just 2 ½ months post injury. He had a great time and caught a lot of fish. I can’t say enough about how great Project Healing Waters has been for Justin. Between the weekly fly tying and the fishing trips here and there, they’ve helped him get back into one of the hobbies that he loves. And the people who make it happen are some of the nicest people you could meet. We got to go as a family to Sharptown, MD and enjoy some time away from Walter Reed, met some amazing people who treated us like family and welcomed us with open arms into their community…oh, and Justin shot some does and we got to stock our freezer with venison. Minor details. Lol And going there wasn’t just a one-time thing and they forgot about us – it was a “give us a call and come back anytime” thing. We went back about a month after the Heroes Haven event and had a wonderful time then too. They even threw Corey a little birthday party complete with a camouflage cake. We were able to drive down to Georgia to attend the homecoming ceremony for Justin’s guys. I was probably more emotional for that homecoming than the ones where I was welcoming Justin home. Lol It was so good to finally be able to meet the men who were up there with Justin and made sure he didn’t bleed out after he was hit. I also got to meet some of the wives – many of whom I had spoken to on the phone but had never met in person. Even though Justin had been back in the States for months, this was his first time back in our house and back on Ft. Stewart. He only beat his guys back by a few days. It was so great to see him in uniform on the field with his guys and the rest that came home that day. We were able to drive down to Florida to be with our families for Thanksgiving. This was the first time Justin had been in Florida since January and the first time since May for me. It was so good to be with family even though the trip went by way too fast. Justin and I were able to go to Texas for a hunting trip at the San Rafael Ranch. We both had a great time, made some new friends that hopefully we’ll see again down the road, made some great memories (and got some fun pictures), and I even shot a hog…something most people never thought I’d do. Shoot, I never thought I’d do it either. Lol I was content shooting paper targets at the range. Shortly after our Texas trip, we drove back down to Florida to be with our families for Christmas. Our Christmas wasn’t at all what we expected, but we got to be together for it. Both of my sisters and their families were here. All of Justin’s siblings are here. I got to see one set of grandparents a couple days before Christmas, and the other set on Christmas day. I’m also glad that I’m here and able to help out with Grandma even though I’d rather be spending time with her under better circumstances. I feel so helpless when stuff happens and I’m out of state (and formerly out of the country). Grandma was upset and said that she feels she’s ruining things for me and for my mom and feels like a burden, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. I’m thankful that she’s still alive and that I’m blessed with the opportunity to spend time with her still.

2013 has been a year of highs and lows. We’ve gotten to meet some amazing people (and even a few famous ones), do some really fun things, reconnect with old friends, feel the love and support from our families, friends, churches and communities. Looking back at the pictures from this year brings many laughs and smiles, and some tears here and there. Here’s to 2014 having less stress, fewer difficulties, more adventure, more healing, fewer surgeries for Justin, and hopefully seeing the end of our time at Walter Reed (though I know it won’t be any time soon). A belated Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to all of my friends! Thank you for being there for us and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers this year! We are truly blessed.

Our trip to Texas

Justin and I just got back from a hunting trip on a ranch in Texas. We had an amazing time there. The ranch is owned by a couple that are huge supporters of Project Healing Waters – the organization that Justin does the fly fishing with. All of the guests who were there with us were either on staff with PHW or were participants/spouses of participants – the majority being wounded warriors. Some had visible wounds, others not as much, but all have made sacrifices for our country. Many people would look at them with pity, others with curiosity, and some even with disgust. Some might call them handicapped. I look at them and see people who have overcome so much to get where they are today – and have many more obstacles still to overcome. Three of the men were amputees, though two were a lot further along in the healing process and if they were wearing long pants, you might not even know they had fake legs. Another of the men is paralyzed from the chest down. The rest had other wounds that you might not even notice, but all of them had a story and were united through their service, sacrifices and a wonderful organization that helped the ranch owners organize the trip.

After the smoothest experience with airline travel that we’ve ever had, we arrived in southern Texas and were driven to the San Rafael Ranch. We met the ranch owner, Loralee West, Loralee’s friend, Kathy, the ranch staff, and the other guests who had already arrived. We were shown to our guest house so that we could relax a bit before dinner. Every evening, we had appetizers which could have been a meal by themselves. Then came dinner of the five star quality variety. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten such a variety of amazing food in such a short period of time. I even tried elk for the first time and the second time and the third time and it was never prepared the same way twice. After dinner, they had us draw names to see which of the staff would take the hunters out for the early morning hunt. As I’m not a morning person, I slept in while Justin hunted. When the hunters got back in, we had breakfast. After breakfast, there was shooting sessions on three of the days and a horseback ride on the fourth. I skipped the shotgun session, but enjoyed the rifle and pistol sessions. The rifle session was both to have fun and to sight in the rifles we would be using to hunt to the trip. I shoot left handed and was able to use a left handed rifle for the first time. It made things so much easier. I had only shot a pistol once before, so it was nice to get some instruction. We had a little competition and Justin and I did pretty decent. Lunch was buffet style and let me tell you, they put out an awesome spread every day. Before lunch was over, we’d draw names for the afternoon/evening hunt. After lunch we had a couple hours to rest and relax before the hunting resumed. Then after hunting, we’d all meet up at the cleaning station to see what everyone shot. Then back to the main part of the ranch to get ready for dinner.

The first evening of hunting, Justin and I were together in a raised blind with one of the staff. We saw a lot of the exotic/non-native animals. It was so cool to watch them. Once again, I was thankful that I splurged a few years ago a bought myself a camera with a 26x zoom. Toward the end of the evening, a herd of wild hogs came into range, and Justin managed to shoot one (58 lbs). I had them in the sights of my rifle but wasn’t confident enough to take a shot. The next evening, Justin wanted to be in one of the ground blinds, so I went with one of the staff, Eddie, to the other raised blind hoping to get some more pictures of the exotics. I didn’t see as many that evening unfortunately. I saw a couple white tail bucks. One was too young to shoot but the other was a good aged 9 point that Eddie said I could shoot if I wanted. I had him in my sights and he was well within range, but I just couldn’t pull the trigger. He was just too pretty…though I would have had no problem with someone else shooting him. I was afraid I would just injure him and he’d run off. He eventually walked out of range. Then a herd of hogs showed up. They came into range and all stopped. Then they’d walk a little bit and stop. (According to Justin, it’s rare for hogs to stand still, but these piggies seemed to be posing for me.) After a few minutes of tracking them with my gun without pulling the trigger, I know Eddie must have thought they’d just walk away like the buck. I think I surprised both him and myself when I actually did shoot. I looked and saw that I had dropped the pig (43 lbs) and was in too much shock to get off a second shot at one of the others. lol Will I become an avid hunter now? Doubtful. I could take it or leave it honestly, but the look on Justin’s face when I told him made it totally worth it. The next morning, Justin finally got his buck. He’d been trying for years to shoot something with antlers to join his gator on the wall, and he finally got it. He got a nice sized 8 point. That evening, I got him to go back to the raised blind with me in hopes that the herd of pigs would come back. We waited and waited and finally three large hogs appeared about 200 yards away.  I’ve only ever shot at 100 yards, so I wasn’t confident that I could make the shot. Justin was a different story. He shot at the largest one – a boar. He hit it, but it ran away and we weren’t able to find it. Unlike me, he wasn’t too shocked to get off the next shot. This time he shot twice at a sow. She also ran off, but Eddie was able to find her (140 lbs). All in all, between the two of us, we had a successful hunting trip. The ranch owner paid for each person to have something mounted. Mine was too small (though not too small to eat and ended up on the lunch buffet on the last day), but Justin is getting his buck mounted.

By the end of the week, we made a bunch of new friends that I hope we will see again somewhere down the road. It was hard saying goodbye on Sunday. Some we bid farewell to at the ranch. Justin and I were on the same flight as 6 other people from the ranch, so we had a little longer to hang out with them in the airport and one was even across the aisle from us on the plane. After we got off the plane, we were met by the TSA agent who helped escort us to our next gate. We started off as a group heading in the same direction and at each place where one or two people broke off to go to their own gates, we took a few minutes to say goodbye. The TSA guy was pretty understanding at our delays. It was just that good of a time that we weren’t ready for it to end (and the weather in TX was so much nicer than what we were all heading to).

We’ve been blessed with so many opportunities that have helped Justin get back into his hobbies, get us away from the hospital, and just to have fun. Each one has been so different, but after each one, we’ve come away having made new friends, wonderful memories, and enjoyed ourselves to the fullest. I’m so thankful for the people who have given so much to help the wounded warriors and their families. It’s so good to see Justin back outdoors doing things he loves. He may have lost his lower legs, but he didn’t lose his spirit. He hasn’t let being in a wheelchair keep him from doing the things he loves, and I will forever appreciate the people who have helped make that happen.