Our visitor and our military

Justin had a visitor today. We both had mixed feelings about the visit. Justin isn’t big on meeting famous people in general…especially high ranking officials. He’s not really the most politically correct (okay, that’s an understatement) and doesn’t like to have to censor himself. While meeting our President is something you don’t get to do every day, so many of his views and agendas directly oppose my personal convictions. He (and probably 99% of politicians…Democrat, Republican, and anything else) isn’t on my top 10 list of people I’d like to meet. To be completely honest, I was a lot more excited about meeting Gary Sinise. Not because of the fact he’s an actor in a show I enjoy watching or because he played the part of a character who was a solider in war who lost both legs in combat in the movie Forrest Gump. I enjoyed meeting him because he takes such an active role in helping wounded warriors and goes all over the place giving morale boosting concerts for active duty soldiers. (So disappointed we’re going to miss the concert at Ft. Stewart that’s coming up!) I attended one of his concerts when we were stationed in Germany. There were a lot of things he could have been doing to celebrate the 4th of July, but he and his band (named after his character in Forrest Gump – Lt. Dan) chose to go to Germany to give a concert for troops and their families. Justin had deployed a couple months prior to the concert, and it was a nice distraction for me and the other spouses whose husbands/wives were deployed.

Anyway, back to today’s visit. I did appreciate that he took the time to come down to Walter Reed to visit Justin and the other wounded warriors. They deserve to get recognition for their sacrifices from their Command in Chief. A lot of stuff in the area was shut down today due to the snow, so he could have easily gotten out of it and nobody would have thought poorly of it. I’ll give him credit for that…though since everything was shut down, he didn’t miss a day of work to visit. Lol Whether or not I agree with his policies (and more often than not, I don’t agree with them), he is our country’s president. I try to avoid political discussions in general because they can be very divisive and are typically rather negative. I have friends that agree with my views which is great, and I have friends that don’t. For the ones that don’t, I would prefer to agree to disagree and leave it at that. Arguing politics won’t change my mind and likely won’t change yours, so it’s a waste of time and can result in hurt feelings. I may not agree with his policies, but I respect the office of President. I may not have voted for him and my not like the direction he’s leading our country, but he is our President. God allowed the people of the United States to vote him into office. I may not understand it all, but God does. I don’t always understand what’s going on in my own life, so I’d be crazy to think I’d understand everything in our country and everything in the world. God is in control even when it seems like things around out of control.

I do wish President Obama and our other elected officials just up the road from Walter Reed would do more to support our military…active duty and retired (both with 20+ years of service and medical retirees), wounded and uninjured. These men and women sacrifice so much, yet they receive so little in return, and what they do receive is slowly being taken away. Some people complain about all the “freebies” military service members and their families receive. I personally don’t know what they’re talking about. If military personnel were paid so highly, why do so many qualify for government assistance to help feed their families? Yes, we get full healthcare, but it comes at a high cost – just not monetarily. The cost of our dental plan is deducted out of Justin’s paycheck just like anyone else, so that’s not a freebie. They pay for us to see the world…yeah, not as exciting as it sounds. You try living in a foreign country for a couple months before your vehicle and household goods arrive. And most of the foreign countries Justin’s visited were not exactly leisure trips. No, it wasn’t all bad. I made some awesome friends and have some great memories too, but I could say the same about Ft. Stewart. And as difficult as it is here at Walter Reed, I can honestly say I’ve made new friends and memories here too. Then there’s the issue of retirement pensions. When you hear on the news about cuts to “working age retirees” a lot of people will think that it doesn’t sound so bad. Most have a new career and make plenty of money. They don’t need all the pension money right now. Let’s think about that a minute. How many post 9/11 combat wounded veterans do you figure are of “retirement age”? The majority of the seriously wounded likely medically retired from military service and are considered disabled. Yes, some may have gone on to other careers depending how serious their injuries are, but many require full time care or are unable to work. Do you think they can afford to have their pay cut? Then there’s the cuts to military installations. When you see on the news about government shutdowns and sequestration, it’s just another story about how our government can’t get along and how bad our country is in debt. When I see those stories, I wonder how badly it will affect us. Commissaries are being closed which will really hurt a lot of families. On post/base hospitals and clinics are having to work on skeleton crews, so wait times are longer and getting an appointment when you’re actually sick is nearly impossible sometimes. They’re talking about decreasing the housing allowance. Speaking from experience, we’ve had months where nearly every dollar of Justin’s paycheck went toward necessities…and we’re typically some of the more responsible people regarding finances. There isn’t an adequate number of houses on post to hold everyone stationed at a given post and the waiting list can be long, so for many, living off post is out of necessity even though it’s financially more difficult at times. Some would say the spouse could get a job. That’s true, but the majority of military spouses that are able to find a job are under-employed. It’s hard to make a career when you have to move every couple years. And when you factor in child care costs (for those with children who aren’t school aged), sometimes the family would be losing money for have the spouse employed. Here at Walter Reed, budget cuts are felt big time. Justin’s physical therapist had her hours cut, not because of her performance but because she was one of the most recent hires. Now Justin is with a different therapist who is okay, but not nearly as personable as the one he had before the cuts. During the shutdown/sequestration the hours were cut for a lot of the civilians, so the military personnel in those departments had to work longer hours and more days in a row without a break. It was difficult for everyone around here. Now they’re cutting the Tri-care service centers where you can do in person and talk to someone about any issues or changes that need to be made. They say you can call in or go online, but I’ve heard horror stories about the call centers customer services and getting into the online “portal” from home isn’t easy if you can at all. You can’t just login like most site. You have to have a military ID (not just a dependent one) and have a card reader to plug the ID into…the majority of times the card readers don’t work or you can’t find the software to make it work because it doesn’t come with any. Talk about a headache. Then there’s deployments. Even if the soldier comes home with no injuries, it takes a toll on families. Justin’s had to miss a lot of Corey’s life or see it only through Skype and pictures. Many fathers have missed the births of their children. Birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries are either missed or celebrated early/late. The constant thought that you may never see your loved one again. The Army (and other branches do the same I assume) had a packet of paperwork for final wishes should the soldier make the ultimate sacrifice. They don’t really cover what happens if your loved one is wounded in combat. It’s a bit morbid, but I mentally prepared myself more for Justin dying than for getting limbs blown off. I don’t think I ever once even considered the possibility of him being seriously injured. I’m not trying to complain or whine about our situation. I’m thankful for the career Justin has had in the Army for the past 8 years and who knows how many in the future. I’m thankful for the care he’s receive in spite of the budget cuts here at Walter Reed. Some of the doctors and nurses that he’s had here are the top of their fields and are highly sought after. The military is the life Justin chose, and what I chose when I chose Justin…but things are definitely a lot different than when he signed his name and swore in.

I’ll stop there for my rant, but I will ask that you all pray for our military (especially those wounded and currently deployed), our elected officials (whether you agree with them or not) and our nation. II Chronicles 7:14 says “if my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” And let me tell you, our country needs some healing. Things are getting crazier and crazier. Crime is up, employment is down, and there is such much division in so many different areas. Our country needs to turn back to God before things get even worse.

9 month update

9 months…wow. For some reason that sounds like a lot more than 8 even though it’s only a few weeks more. This past month has been a bit of a roller coaster. We had some really big highs which made the disappointments seem lower. This month started out with us just getting back from a much needed convalescent leave in Florida and Georgia. Justin got his stitches out and his left leg was looking great. He got casted and was walking on two legs pretty much as soon as he put the left leg on for the first time. It was amazing to watch! He got to start back in the archery program and was able to shoot his bow standing for the first time since before his deployment. He signed up to train and try out for a few Warrior Game events. He was walking everywhere as he felt up to it just because he could. On my birthday, Corey and I joined him for physical therapy and we all walked together around the track. Then came last week…Justin went to wound care since there was still a tiny spot at the end of his left leg that hadn’t healed up. They determined that the bone was too close to the surface and consulted with orthopedics and the plastic surgery team. I’m thankful that the wound care team is on top of things and keep a close eye to make sure things are how they should be and if they’re not, make sure Justin is taken care of, but that was not the news I wanted to hear. It was decided that Justin would need the skin flap after all. The doctors tried three times to make it work with less invasive procedures, but long term, none of them worked. Justin was readmitted the next day. They reopened the leg to clean things up, then vascular checked out the blood flow in what will be the donor site. They did cultures to check for infection and the results came back that he’s infection free! The last couple times they opened up his legs, they found staph infections in the bones and he was on twice daily IV antibiotics for months. So glad that he won’t have to deal with that this time around. Everything is looking good for him to have his surgery on Tuesday followed by a stay in ICU so they can closely monitor things. Please pray that the surgery will be a success and that the flap will do its intended job so that more surgery will not be necessary after this round of inpatient.

On the non-medical side of things, we got to do some really fun things as a family. Being Floridians, we’re not big on the whole winter season, but we’ve tried to make the best of it and have some fun in the snow. The last time Corey saw snow was when he was just a year old, so he’s really enjoyed playing in it now that he’s a little older. We’ve had some snowball fights, made a somewhat wimpy snowman, and even went skiing. I was amazed at how well Justin did with the seated skiing and how well Corey did for his first time on skis…I’m pretty sure they’re both better at it than I am! After months of saying we wanted to go, we finally took Corey to Medieval Times. We had a great time and enjoyed the show and the food…though Corey wasn’t so sure about the whole eating without utensils thing. Justin made the front page of our hometown newspaper. A few months back, a reporter from the Florida Today newspaper and a cameraman came up to Maryland to see what a day in the life of Justin at Walter Reed was like. We had talked to the reporter several times before on the phone, but this was the first time talking to him in person. He thought it would be good for people back home to see how things are up here and how much progress Justin has made. They happened to be here right after Justin got his first leg so they got to be here for some of his first post-injury steps. Justin and I were invited to attend a Trout Unlimited event. I ended up staying home with Corey, but Justin was able to go. He got all dressed up…first time I’ve ever seen him in a non-military suit. He got to meet some really cool people while he was there. A couple were even from our hometown/county, so he had fun talking to them about favorite fishing spots and such. One of them ended up winning a raffle and gave it to Justin. When he got home, he was like a kid at Christmas showing me everything! This was no fruit basket the guy won (though we still would have been appreciative if it was)…it was a full setup with a fly rod, reel, fly line, fishing shirts, and a bunch more. He can’t wait until he’s able to go out and use it.

We also got some news that if it works out, it will be a HUGE blessing for our family. I haven’t said anything about it to too many people because it almost seems too good to be true and I don’t want to jinx it, but it really looks like it might happen and I’m hoping and praying that it does. A couple weeks ago, Justin’s aunt called and said that a man who works with our local congressman wanted to talk to us and asked if she could give him our contact information. We agreed and he called later that afternoon. He was at a city council meeting for our hometown (a few days after the newspaper article) and the city acquired a few foreclosures and they decided that they wanted to give one to us. He asked if he could pass our contact information to the city representative so that we could talk directly with them if we were interested. The city guy called a couple days later with more information. We are unsure right now how long we’ll be in Maryland or what will happen next regarding Justin’s career in the Army, but our long-term plan is definitely to move back to our hometown and Justin even has a couple job opportunities already. The city guy, Bob, gave me a list of addresses for houses to choose from and asked if we had anyone in the area who could be our “eyes” and work directly with him in this whole process. My dad agreed and was excited to help us with this and he met up with Bob the next day to walk through the houses and give us his assessment as to which he thought would best meet our needs. Dad and Bob will be meeting on Monday with an architect to see how to renovate the interior of the house to make it wheelchair accessible. I’ve been working on our end to get all the necessarily paperwork and documentation together. Justin and I have been discussing paint colors and what things in a house will make his life easier rather than just making do. I’m afraid to get too excited about it for fear that it will fall through, but I just can’t help being excited about the possibility of having a place of our own…something I didn’t think we’d be even discussing this decade. Justin could finally get his man cave to hang his hunting trophies and have his Bass Pro camouflage recliner! We're hoping and praying that everything works out with this.

It hasn’t been an easy 9 months. In fact, some parts have been extremely difficult, but in spite of the difficulties, we have been blessed. Not just with the stuff people have given too us (though that has been a huge blessing), but in so many other ways. We’re blessed that Justin is alive and has such a determined spirit. Never once has he given up or said he can’t do something. Sure, he’s got physical limitations, but just because he can’t do something how he used to doesn’t mean he can’t do it at all. He can’t traipse through the woods and climb a tree to get away from a mean hog, but he’s got his track chair and that can get him just about anywhere he needs to go. We’re blessed with such good medical care here at Walter Reed. We don’t particularly like living up here in such a big city, but there’s probably nowhere else in the world where he could find the level of experience for his type of injuries as you’ll find here. From the time he arrived, he’s received exceptional care. We’re blessed with family who is willing and able to help out when we’ve needed it the most. We’re blessed with friends and neighbors who have helped take care of our house while we’re away and have brought us meals when we’re in town. We’re blessed to have friends and family who have prayed for us, encouraged us all along the way, sent us such kind messages through the mail and on facebook, and have shown us so much kindness in so many ways. We’re blessed at how well Corey has adapted to Justin’s injuries. He has a hard time knowing how to properly express himself when he’s upset about Justin being in the hospital, but he’s never once acted scared to be around Justin. He loves his daddy and in his own way has accepted Justin’s injuries and with his little sense of humor can even joke about it (his sense of humor is much like Justin’s…slightly warped lol). It’s not always easy to count your blessings when the difficult times get overwhelming. I had a few times like that in the past week where the frustration of it all just built up and I just wanted to scream and cry and throw things. Life in general can be hard even if you’re not having to deal with situations like ours, but life is never hopeless. Psalm 30:5b says “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” I’ve cried many tears over the past 9 months, but some of those tears have been tears of joy. Sometimes it feels like this “night” will never end, but one day we’ll look back and it will be a distant memory. We just have to keep holding on and waiting for the “morning” to come.

first time on 2 legs!